Kerri and the boys just left. The house seems so quiet. They have been here since Monday because Eric has been out of town. I wanted her close by in case she went into labor. We had such a good time. It is non-stop motion where the boys are concerned. I loved every minute of them being here. Eric and Mike will be getting back in town tonight. Evan's birthday is coming quickly. Just one more week. It will be so good to have one more to hug. I better rest up because next week will be a busy one.

I haven't felt very well since I returned from my trips. I've got some kind of crud and can't seem to shake it. Mike and Mikey have it too. Hopefully it won't stay around much longer. My sun room is officially finished and Mike is picking up new furniture for it today. Looks like the weather for the week is going to cooperate and I can enjoy it. Monday should bring the family over for some fun. I'm going today to get Evan a new stroller. Mom and Kerri are going with me. I am so blessed to be able to spend time with my Mom at my age. I realize a lot of women my age don't have their mom around. Evan will soon be here and she will be able to see another great-grandchild.

I am by far the most blessed mother on the face of the earth. First I was taught to be a mother by a very precious lady. She taught me the importance of sharing a home-cooked meal with the entire family sitting at the table and doing this on a regular basis. She taught me the importance of being there when the kids get home from school. She taught me that sharing her faith by how she lived was something for priceless to pass on to her children.
Secondly, I found the best man in the world to parent with. He loves me and my children more than anything else in this world. We have always been his first priority. He has been a man of integrity for my children through every phase of their lives. He has often had to travel with his job but we never had a night go by without hearing from him and he always looked forward to coming home.
My kids - I don't even know where to begin. Kerri. I remember how we used to fight. I think all moms and daughters go through that. My friends would tell me, "just wait, you will be the best of friends". I hoped and prayed we would. Today she is my best friend. Her smile lights up my world. Her happiness is my happiness, her pain is my pain. She has given me more joy than I could ever deserve. She is beautiful inside and out. I hope I have played a small part in building the strong faith that gives her the strength that makes her such a lovely woman.
Mikey - Pup - my baby!! I go back so often in my mind to that little five-yr. old charmer with his blonde hair and ear-pierced. Yes he had his ear pierced at five. Maybe that's where I made the wrong turn. No, just kidding. Laughter has always been a part of home and that is largely due to Mikey. He was able to make us laugh when we were trying to discipline. He was able to make us laugh when life's circumstances should have been making us cry. I am very thankful for my son. He is a handsome, fun-loving, life-loving young man that has taught me to live a day at a time. He has lived that way all his life. He has had experiences that no one else in our family can relate to. I am sure as the years go by, he will continue to share what he has learned and we will all be better for it.
Riley - a little boy that is already teaching Nana so much. I can't wait to tell him how he helped me through a really tough time when he was only a baby, just by being there. I thank God for my grandchildren everyday. Riley with all his questions, so deep in thought but still able to be a little boy as silly and goofy as any. And Trey, ( Mikey re-incarnated) what will he get into next? Rough and tumble, short-round-one, Mommy's little bitty. Talk about a smile that lights up your world!! And I am about to be blessed once again. Evan, come quickly before your mommy loses it! Thank God for a wonderful son-in-law. He takes such good care of my daughter. I never have to worry that she is being loved.
I'm sorry for going on like this. But I am a very blessed Mother. Thank you all for being what makes my life so wonderful.










I'm sorry for going on. This isn't like me but I am a very blessed Mother. Thank you

I'm back. Good to be here but a really nice trip. It was good to see my sister and her family, share in a little of their lives in OKC, see where they live. I like to have pictures in my mind, it helps me feel closer. We shopped and laughed and basically did nothing. My sister works a 40 hr. week and watches over a husband, two "adult boys"(ha) and three grandkids. She doesn't have much time to do nothing. It was good for both of us to re-connect. Now I pick up with my life - one day at a time. Right now I could look ahead at some things coming up but I will try to continue living in this day. I'm glad to be home with my wonderful husband. I'm not crazy about traveling withot him. I'm going to hit the gym - it's been 2 weeks!! Then I hope to see the boys and Kerri. Yeaaaa!

Well, we have a scheduled date for Evan's arrival - June 9th. But even with it scheduled, you still don't know for sure. That happens to be one day before Pup's b-day. Another thing to celebrate in June. I think June will just be one continuous party for the family. Sounds good to me!! I'm getting ready for my trip to OKC. It will be so good to see everyone and to spend some quality time with my sister. Who knows what kind of trouble we might get into.

We are home. What a looooooooong week. All went well. The construction on the back of my house is going up like gangbusters. I am so excited. Now I will get ready to leave Thursday to visit my sister for a few days. I'm looking forward to that. I need to get some rest this week before I leave though. Hopefully I can see my little ones sometime today. I really missed them and I think Kerri has officially hit the pregnancy wall. Evan can't come too soon. Well, time to unpack and start laundry. WOW I'm tired!!!

Well, I can't avoid it any longer. The day has come. I'm off to market. YEAAAAAAA! My feelings can be summed up in Trey's words when I told him I wouldn't see him for awhile. (Ask Kerri) I sure will miss those cutie-patooties. We're off

My Jesus, my Savior
Lord there is none like You
All of my days
I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty llove

My comfort, my shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath
All that I am
Never cease to worship You

Shout to the Lord All the earth Let us sing
Power and majesty Praise to the King
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name
I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You

A wonderful Easter week-end! We celebrated Saturday with the family due to the fact that e.stetler had to work on Easter. Boo! But we had a great time. Then church with Mikey and Mike on Sunday followed by 18 holes of golf. It was supposed to rain but instead we enjoyed a gorgeous sunny day. Now begins the week before market. This market should be interesting as they all tend to be but all will be well. My husband just came home and announced that he had bought some new clothes for market. Well - I guess you know what I'll be doing tomorrow!!

Looking forward to a great Easter week-end. Seems like we just celebrated Christmas!! I had a date with another handsome guy yesterday. Yes, Trey and I went to Easton and enjoyed lunch at Max and Irmas and he made his build-a-bear. We made sure the bear was a different color than brother's . I am thanking God for an answer to prayer in our family. God doesn't always answer exactly the way we would think but it is always perfect. The future looks good with a new grandson and all kinds of things to look forward to. But I have learned that this "one day at a time" thing works pretty well for me. I have found some real peace living this way. I don't always accomplish it but most of the time I think I do o.k. I know I worry less than I ever have in my life. Maybe I'm just mellowing with my old age! Blessings to all on this Easter week-end.

Well, Riley put in a request for a date with Nana. I managed to clear my schedule to squeeze him in. (right!) We had such a fun day. Playing and lunch at McDonalds, watching the toy trains at Easton, visiting the Discovery Store, a quick "hello" to the Easter bunny and a walk through the Buckeye store. Then he took home a new friend from the Build-a-bear store with a spiderman costume just like his. I was wiped out at the end of this day but so much fun with my handsome little man. I'm sure a date with Trey will soon follow.

Well, this will be a first for me. I usually don't use this journal to rant but this morning I feel drawn to express myself. I just saw on T.V. a complete contradiction of who God is and what He is about. I was watching an interview with Rosie O'Donnell about her new documentary that is getting so much attention. She apparently invited gay families to take a cruise with her and her family. As they pulled out to sea there was a group of "christians" demonstrating against gay marriages. Screaming, pointing fingers, making their presence impossible to ignore. Then I listened to the rest of the interview. She talked very passionately about all the children in our foster system whose parents have terminally given up their rights to those children - 117,000 I believe was the number. She is full of compassion, just in my humble opinion wrong about her beliefs concerning sexuality. What makes me so emotional is that none of us are getting it right. I don't believe God is happy when we follow His laws but refuse to show His love in doing it. God help us all!!

They all walked away, with nothing to say,
They'd just lost their dearest friend.
All that He said, now He was dead,
So this was the way it would end.
The dreams they had dreamed were not what they'd seemed,
Now that He was dead and gone.
The garden the jail, the hammer, the nail,
How could a night be so long.

Then came the morning, night turned into day;
The stone was rolled away, hope rose with the dawn.
Then came the morning, shadows vanished before the sun,
Death had lost and life had won, for morning had come.

I am really glad to be starting a new week. Last week was not one I would like to re-live. Why is it that those seem to go on forever? Oh well, life goes on. I got back to the gym this morning and hopefully my normal flow will return. We got to spend some time with Riley, Trey and Kerri. That's always a good thing. I am giving a friends daughter a wedding shower Saturday. It should be fun. April is looking very hectic. I love Easter - everything new. Hope, that's what Easter gives us. Mark Palmer left some wonderful thoughts on hope; "Live your hope as if it is the one and only thing that sustains you in this ravaged world." I have learned that until we spend sometime in a place that makes us feel as if hope is all we have, we don't really understand how powerful hope can be. I'm looking forward to celebrating that hope in Jesus this Easter. Immediately after Easter we head for market I get back and leave for a visit with my sister. April will be gone before I know it.

Last night I had the privilege of feeding some hurting people. It seemed like such a small thing to do during a time of such grief. I mean bean salad!! Just wish I could have done more. Tonight I have my little ones so Kerri and Eric can be with their LP family during this time. As we were coming home from mac-n-cheese at Bob Evans, from the back I hear a stirring rendition of "God is Good" at the top of their lungs. Yea, it made me smile. So simple but so true - God IS good, ALL the time. Trying to answer 4 yr. old questions about death only makes me realize I don't have any answers. I don't understand it any better than he does. But I do know that because God is good, Mark is fine and the spring flowers will bloom and a baby will be born in June and Micah will grow and be strong. And when the next thing happens that we don't understand - God will still be good.

This prayer I pray for Amy, Micah, Mark's family, his LP family and all of us on this journey.

Almighty God, Lord of the storm and of the calm, of day and night, of life and death; grant to me so to have my heart stayed upon your faithfulness, your unchangingness and love, that whatsoever betides me, I may look upon You with untroubled eye. I ask it for thy mercy's sake Amen
George Dawson in Little Book of Prayers

I don't like myself very well right now. I let somebody down and I tried to fix it and there is nothing I can do. I'm sure there are a lot of lessons in this for me and I really hope I don't miss any of them. A new week. Hope I do better. Not much else to say.

Here I am
In a river of questions
Can I pour out my heart to a listening ear?
I see this life
It's valleys and mountains
And I think of all the roads that brought me here.

I've questioned my reasons
The life I'm living
I've questioned my ability
To judge wrong from right
I've questioned all the things that I've ever called certain
My race, my religion, my country, my mind!

But the one thing I don't question is You
You really love me like You say You do
You really love me like You say You do
Hold me
Hold me

I've questioned significance
Meaning and relevance
Does the work I'm doing really matter at all?
Well I've qustioned my friendships
Alliance, dependence
Who will still be here when I fall?

Only one thing doesn't change
Only one thing stays the same
All I know at the end of the day is Your love remains!!

Well, not the best week of my life but nothing I should complain too much about. It started out with my husband leaving for Fla. and for some reason I ended up at the doctor with a blood pressure count far too high. My fault - went off my meds. Then I picked up some kind of stomach flu I'm still wrestling with and finally got myself to the dentist after far too long. But today I spent time with some of my favorite people Riley, Trey and their Mommy. We went shopping for baby Evan, out to lunch and then I watched Monsters Inc. with my handsome four year old. Mike will be home tomorrow and I am really glad. Mikey and I will find a good place to watch OSU in the tournament. It will be a good day. I go to bed tonight praying for a lot of situations. On the top of my list is Mark and Amy and Micah. I have had times in my life that I could literally feel God's arms wrap around me. I pray that for them tonight. May God keep us all in His care.

Something isn't right with this picture. I'm ironing shorts and golf shirts for my husband to go on a golf trip. I am really jealous!! But I'm so glad he is able to go. He has worked so hard for so many years and finally he is being rewarded. I hope he has a great time. He leaves Saturday. I will just have to stay here and enjoy my wonderful kids and grandchildren. Gee, I have it rough don't I? Riley will be my date for the last OSU game Sunday. Everytime I talk to Trey on the phone he says, "Take me to the game Nana". I really wish I could. I hope we can get more seats next season. My wonderful son-in-law will be celebrating a birthday this week-end so I will treat him to dinner. Next week will be Jen's b-day - another celebration. Fun times!! Evan's big day will be here before we know it. I'm sure Kerri doesn't feel it is coming quick enough.