Meditating this morning I realized how many beautiful women are in my life. Women that have been a huge part of my life in many different ways. Family and friends that are like family. This morning I began thinking about my prayer list and the fact that it is full of those women and they really need prayers on their behalf. Prayers to understand what is happening in their bodies, prayers to heal that lifelong partner, prayers to open doors to the calling they feel on their lives. I would love to know and deliver all their answers, but I don't. So.... I pray in faith believing that one day these beautiful women will receive. So today and tomorrow and the day after that, I promise to continue to lift you all up and stand with you til we see His hand.

Well, we spent most of our Saturday shopping. "What are we shopping for?" you might ask. Well.... in 1999, I owned a beautiful little candy apple red mustang. I loved that car. I had it for three months and totaled it. I have mourned that car for 10 years now. We went shopping for a mustang. But my husband doesn't want just a mustang. Men and women really look at cars from different viewpoints. This time around, it won't be a necessary car it will be a toy, something that we take joy rides in. My husband found that toy today. It is a 2009 Shelby Mustang convertible, blue with a wide racing strip down the middle. I told my husband I would look ridiculous driving this car but I got behind the wheel and boy was it fun. My husband and I are fairly practical people and this is a big step. It's on a 24 hr. hold at the dealership and we are "sleeping on it". I'll let you know what happens.

Trey is on spring break this week and we had a date. I took him to see Bedtime Stories. Great flick by the way. It was so much fun to hear him giggle throughout the movie. Trey is special. I keep getting the feeling that he will contribute greatly to this world. I really had fun with him. But I sat there, staring at him as he watched the screen and wished I could go back. He seemed to slip through my hands as a toddler. I look forward to lots of dates with this young man, I can only hope he wants to spend time with his Nanna for lots of dates to come.

Last night I went to see PRAY THE DEVIL BACK TO HELL. An unbelievable true story of some ordinary yet extraordinary women who refused to settle for the life they and their children were living because of evil. It is the story of Liberia and it is something everyone should see. I watched these strong, passionate women join together and accomplish something truly remarkable and wondered if I would have the strength and determination in that situation. They were tired of running from murderers and rapists and watching their children live a life of hell on earth. Yet they did it all through prayer and sacrifice, they never raised an earthly weapon. Go see this movie. It will move you.

Today would have been my Dad's 90th birthday. I have his picture hanging in my entryway in a frame that quotes Jeremiah 17:7-8. "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream... its leaves are always green." That is how my dad lived his life and that is the heritage he left me. My dad left us on some level several months before his body actually left. I really thought I would have an easier time with his death because of that. I was wrong. I miss him greatly. He was a wonderful man who never had an enemy. He had one of the sweetest spirits I have ever known. A huge hole has been left in our family that will never be filled. We were all truly blessed to have had him as a husband, a father, a grandfather and a true example of a man of God. Happy birthday Dad.

I wish there were more answers.

Kerri just sent us pictures of little Nana. What an absolute sweetheart!! I just can't wait to get my hands on her. We all needed this shot in the arm, especially my daughter. We pray and pray and pray and sometimes it gets really disheartening when we don't see much happening. But that's what faith is all about. God is at work and one day soon, we will see the results of our prayers and Kerri and Eric's hard work. A place is waiting for her in this family and I am sure it won't be long. We are saving up lots of hugs and kisses for her. I think she needs to be a little older and stronger to survive Evan the "pickle". Hopefully she'll be able to hold her own!!

I got on my knees and prayed for rain today. Not the kind of rain that we talk about when we say,"April showers bring may flowers". The kind of rain that we need when our souls are dry. I mentioned some very special people in my prayers, people that I love dearly but God loves even more. Some are struggling, some are searching. Some are searching for answers and some are simply searching for God. Some need healing and some need faith and patience. All of them need God to carry them through. I prayed that God would be their "very present help". I know that in all these things that I brought today, He is working. And yes, I included myself in that prayer. I so want my grandchildren to see God's love for them through me. I pray that when I look at them, speak to them and touch them, that they will sense how wonderful God truly is.

I have been dealing with some strange feelings, or maybe it's more like lack of feelings. I have felt somewhat numb and detached. I have no idea why, and I have decided to stop trying to figure out why. It is what it is and I will get through it. However nothing makes me feel like myself like being around my children and grandchildren. Kerri and the boys came over to spend that night last night and Nanna took them to Toys R Us for some new purchases. Nicole, Mikey and Austin joined us for dinner tonight. The simple things, the important things. There is nothing like the smiles and "thank-yous" from little ones that think you hung the moon. They are able to put a smile on my face like no one else. I thank God everyday for my beautiful family.

I am so thankful for today. Today, 2009 is a very special day. Today, 2008 wasn't so special. But I guess it really was. You see, for today 2009 to be special, we had to have today 2008. We have come a full year and things are so different. We will be celebrating today. Our family and some friends will gather and celebrate - we will be celebrating the end and the beginning. My son turned his back on an old lifestyle one year ago and how God has turned his life around is something we must truly CELEBRATE!!!! It has been something to watch, often in awe and amazement. As we move forward from here, I don't want to forget all the bad days, they serve to make these days that much more special. I'm looking forward to posting some celebration pictures soon.

I'm learning a lot about prayer. I believe that there is a time and a place for prayers to be specific. I think that is very important. But I also am learning that general prayers have their place also, and I believe these prayers, once prayed, go on and on and on for a long time. I've often prayed in general for the safety of my children. I've prayed this prayer as long as they have been on this earth, but not everyday. Today I can't say I specifically prayed that prayer for my daughter but I believe that today that prayer was heard. Prayer is so mysterious and I believe prayers follow us throughout time. I really believe that the prayers my dad prayed for me are still with me. I thank God for prayer

What a day, the kind of day you find yourself saying"what next?". Ironically this all comes after I spent a wonderful evening watching Facing the Giants with my daughter and grandchildren. If you haven't seen it, the message is that nothing is impossible with God. Hmmm... a little easier to say when you don't really need any miracles. But today, my family and another family that is very close to me is in need of just that. I believe God is able to perform miracles however, I will praise Him if He chooses to work miraculously or not, at least I pray I will. Gotta run, I hear a little miracle through the monitor. He's waking up.

Wow has this been a strange start to a new year. Nothing out of the ordinary, just a lack of focus. I had my typical post-holiday funk and I worked through that. Now I just can't get motivated to do all the projects I need to be doing. Why in heaven's name am I having such a hard time beginning Austin's scrapbook??!! I have a grand total of one page done. That is pathetic. I feel like I have developed old age ADD or something. It's driving me crazy. I need to take off those holiday pounds and I don't seem to care. You'd think I would be motivated as I am going to have to put on a bathing suit in a few short weeks for my trip to Florida. But noooooo.... I just keep eating. I have, however, begun working out with my Wii Fit. - three whole days in a row. I did some work on the exercise ball this morning too. I partially clean a room and then I find myself distracted by nothing, and it stays half-way done. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM???!!!! @#%%$#!!

I have so many emotions tonight. I really don't think I can possibly describe all that I feel. It involves so many different happenings and circumstances that really don't even relate to each other. My husband is gone to market and that always brings out emotions in me. My son is leaving tomorrow to join him for his first market since he began to work with Mike again. I watched the festivities of the inauguration all day and experienced a lot of different feelings. I held Austin while I watched history unfold and I found myself wondering what the future would hold as he grows up. I told him as we watched, that God is in control of the future no matter who the president is. My thoughts and prayers turn so often to the little girl we are so anxious to welcome into our family and wonder when that will happen. I worry about her but I know God is watching over her. So tonight my head and my heart is full. I'm trying to quiet myself.

God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near, calm my fear
And take my doubt

Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let Mercy sing
Her melody over me
God, right here all I bring
Is all of me

Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
The Lover I need to save me
Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God
So hold me now

I love spending time with my daughter. It seems we have had precious little of that lately. But today we managed to carve out a few hours to be together. We went to the winter farm market. It's really fun to watch my daughter learn a whole new way of cooking for her family. Then we went to a new mexican restaurant and just relaxed and talked. It looks like Eric is slowly healing from his fall. I am so thankful it didn't turn out as bad as we had thought. I'm going to watch the OSU basketball game with my husband. It's cold, very cold but it's been a good day. It seems the older I get, the more I just appreciate the simple things.

Well, it happened again. I got the "after the holidays blahs". I don't really call it depression. No...I know that feeling. This is just the blahs. I think I am somewhat like Clark in Christmas Vacation. I really build up the holidays. I want them to be so perfect. Then when they are over, I often feel let down because nothing is perfect. Sometimes I deal with it better than others. This time, not so good. But I am working on it. I am not going to beat up on myself but at the same time I am not going to live here. Another thing I am fighting is some anxiety. We have been through a lot in the past few years and I am just a little anxious about what might be next. I'm really not a doom and gloom person and I'm just being honest here. Just things I am dealing with and I will get past. I have found that most of the time when these things creep in, I need to get my mind off myself.

You better get to livin', givin'
A little more thought about bein'
A little more willin' to make a better way
Don't sweat the small stuff
Keep your chin up
Just hang tough
And if it gets too rough
Fall on your knees and pray
And do that everyday
Then you'll get to livin'

Sorry, once again, I know it's simple but I like it.

Well, I have wondered for awhile who is reading my blog. Not sure it is any thing more than me just being nosey. (I've been accused of that on more than one occasion) Watching stat counter, I realize there are a few that come back once in awhile. So......... if you notice I have added a followers section you can sign into. It won't hurt my feelings if you don't want to admit that you take the time to read what this simple woman writes. I'll just keep writing anyway.

2009 is upon us. Seems as if we were just taking that big plunge into 2000. Where does time go? I have been acknowledging to myself and to God this morning that I often approach a new year with trepidation ; don't know why but I do. This year seems a little different ; don't know why it just does. I guess that is the reason for my new year apprehension - all the "don't know's". But if I stop and think about it, that is true for each new day, it just seems bigger when I look at a new year. So, I will continue to live one day at a time into this new year (or at least try) and try to never lose sight that I need Him, every hour I need Him.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain
Come quickly and abide or life is vain.

Another beautiful Christmas day has come and gone. I have realized that my favorite part of Christmas is actually the preparation. And I thoroughly enjoyed preparing this year. I guess my two favorite gifts this year involved my daughter and and my son. My daughter received her referral to adopt a beautiful little girl from Liberia. This has been a process of over a year and now it seems it really is going to happen. Hopefully by spring we will be meeting little Nana and welcoming her into our family. My other favorite gift is the fact that my son is married and has a beautiful baby boy and has come back to work with his dad. I told my sister today that I don't think we realize the effect particular stresses have on our lives until that stress is gone. The day passed very quickly as it always does and it was a little different this year as Eric had to leave for work and we had to share Mikey with Nicole's family. But all in all it was another beautifully blessed Christmas and I am looking forward to the year ahead. I have learned that we never know what the year may bring but all the challenges we were faced with beginning last Christmas have turned out to be undeniable blessings. I'm sure there will be our share of mountains to climb but we will climb them one at a time with God's help. Happy New Year everyone.

For I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able, to keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day. Lord, give us all the strength to keep it all committed to You.