I can't believe it. August is here. It's like groundhog day, I keep saying it every year about this time; "where did the summer go?". Some people have been complaining about the weather this summer, but I have loved it. I prefer the lower temps, I hate the high temps and humidity. But never fear, we still have August for that. Now we can look forward to fall and a very eventful 2010. We could very easily gain two new grandchildren in the new year. That hasn't sunk in yet. My boys continue to keep me on my toes and make me smile. NOBODY makes me smile like them. Hugs and kisses, arms outstretched and little gifts tell me how much they love me but I could never put into words how I feel about them. I just hope they always know. Once again there are so many things that I am trying to let God handle in my family. God has made it very plain to me that I need to let Him work things out - I'll only botch it up. I need to pray more. "Pray without ceasing", that's what we are to do. So, as I tumble head-long into fall, I will pray as I go.

I had Austin yesterday. We had a good day. We took two walks, played on the swings at the park, and ate a snack in the front porch swing. My dad made that swing. We also sat in the yard under a huge old tree that is shaped perfectly and gives shade to at least half of my side yard. Austin heard all about the men that planted that tree for me. My dad and his best friend Ralph. They dug that tree up and hauled it to my house when it was small. I enjoy that tree so much. I hope I leave strong things behind on this earth.

Home from another great 2 weeks at the beach. Wow it goes fast. We had gorgeous weather and lots of fun. We introduced Austin to the ocean and he loved it. Mike had his birthday and we had our 35th anniversary. I got some kind of sun reaction and my lips swelled up and developed sores. I hate steroids. They got rid of the sores but sent me to a place after I got home that I have never been - the doors of hell!! Really, I was so sick I called 911. I lost almost a week and I am still trying to get back to normal but hey, we had a GREAT vacation. So now, summer continues and I hate to think how quickly it will vanish. We've picked strawberries and made freezer jam and I had my first georgia peach yesterday. I came back with too much weight due to the unbelievable fudge that can be found in Topsail but I don't regret one single bite. Next week I head for our annual trip to one of my favorite places, Nashville Indiana, with my husband. A little golf, a lot of shopping and some together quiet time in a place that takes you back in time. We've had some very interesting news but that will have to come in another blog. Hmmm....... don't you wonder what that is? Enjoy the pics.

I'm having a tough day. Yes, we're at the beach and yes all my kids and grandkids are with me. The weather is beautiful, hot but beautiful and we still have a full week left. But back home today, a wonderful friend was laid to rest and three beautiful women are suffering. My heart is with them and there is nothing I can do. Rest in peace Marvin, and I know you will be waiting for us. Not being there has been really hard but I don't think it was to be. We tried but in our striving I think we realized we were to be here. Here, with my precious family, so grateful for the time together and the memories we are making. Today I am thanking God for the blessing of family, I don't ever want to take it for granted.

Our family celebrated this week-end. We celebrated out loud and we celebrated quietly. Out loud we had a great time celebrating the fact that we have an adorable 3 yr. old that keeps us laughing and shaking our heads at what he does and says. He is so funny. Such a little pickle. He is large and in charge and he won't let you forget it. I made homemade chicken nuggets because that's what Pickle ordered. We had a good time. But quietly, in our own private way we were also celebrating a one year celebration. My dad went to be with Jesus one year ago and we all were remembering. It wasn't spoken but we remember. How could we ever forget this man that loved us all so much. Nobody enjoyed celebrating more than my dad and I think he was right there with us, having a good old time. I can't wait to see him again. Love you Dad.

Another wonderful day to be alive. And yes, another song that says it for me today. I am so thankful God gave the gift of songwriting to people, just wish it had been me. Nevertheless, nothing speaks to me like music and I really want to pass these words on today.

There's nothing like the warmth of a summer afternoon
Waking to the sunlight, and being cradled by the moon
Catching fireflies at night
Building castles in the sand
Kissing Mama's face goodnight
Holding Daddy's hand
Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

Running barefoot through the grass
A little hide and go seek
Being so in love, that you can hardly eat
Dancing in the dark, when there's no one else around
Being bundled 'neath the covers, watching snow
Fall to the ground
Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

So many things I thought would bring me happiness
Some dreams that are realities today
Such an irony the things that mean the most to me
Are the memories that I've made along the way

So if there's anything I've learned
From this journey I am on
Simple truths will keep you going
Simple love will keep you strong
Cause there are questions without answers
Flames that never die
Heartaches we go through are often blessings in disguise
So thank you Lord, oh thank you Lord
How could I ask for more

These thoughts in this song are so true in my heart that I'm sure somewhere along the way I would have written them. (LOL) It is amazing how much this expresses where I've been living lately. I'm very thankful for what
God has taught me on this journey.

Well, another week-end. They come faster every week. Mike will be driving in from Dayton after flying in on the red-eye. He has been traveling all week and I hope he won't be too tired to enjoy the week-end. I am really looking forward to spending some time with Kerri and Eric. It isn't often that we get to have adult time, just the four of us. The little ones are going to Lake Chautauqua with Mimi and PopPop. We are going to go to Northstar for breakfast and then to the Clintonville market to pick up my first summer meat CSA. Sunday will bring a memorial service at Shepard's Memorial Garden for my dad and then out to "Jack-town" for some fried chicken with my mom. I think I'll drive out to Little Turtle and check on golf lessons for Nicole and me, it's another beautiful day to take the little blue car out. Yes, life is good. I have learned when I have all these plans, however, that I must remain open to changes. I remind myself to live one day at a time, that is how it works best. So... today, bring it on and I hope my plans are flexible enough to not interfere with His.

I've been thinking back about Mother's Day this year and find it very comforting how things change but they really don't. I remember so many Sunday afternoons on my grandmothers front porch just being family. Her porch was concrete and it was always painted and spotlessly clean. We might make homemade ice cream and my cousins and I would take turns turning the handle in anticipation. My mind then goes to many Sunday afternoons on my mothers front porch, smaller but just as spotless with that outdoor green carpet that looked like short, fake grass. We would all squeeze in and watch the kids play. This past Sunday, I have a beautiful picture in my mind of my front porch. Mom was in the wicker rocker and we took turns swinging in the porch swing my dad made me. We have more places to choose to sit, (Mike and Eric spent a lot of their time on the back deck), but it still has the same feel; family being family. I hope we have many, many more times like this but one thing's for sure - my porch is dirty so I think I'll go hose it down and get it ready for the next family get together.

What a wonderful Mother's Day. I told my husband that all I wanted was both of my children in church with me. That's where they were raised and we don't get to worship there together very often. Sitting in that service today with a child on each side of me, was heaven on earth. I felt as if we had come full circle. All the pain and struggle and prayers over the past years were worth it. We were home, together and God is good.

Dropped in on my daughter and Evan this morning to their surprise. They had made chocolate chippy cookies (Evans name for no-bakes) and I just had to have one. A couple games of Candy Land and Wiggles Uno, picking up Trey from pre-school and sharing lunch with them at Wendy's all in all made for a wonderful day. It would be really hard to ever put into words what my family means to me. I really feel sorry for the rest of the world because I have the best family known to man. I am thanking God for everyday He gives me and trying not to take anything for granted. I'm trying to put myself in the place of some very special people in my life who are going through a very difficult time. I can't seem to get them off my mind. I have trouble finding light in their situation so I turn to one of my favorite hymns. I find real comfort in these words:

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly Friend,
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

I was playing around on facebook yesterday and I came across a great picture of my dad that I was able to make into a flair button. I got many comments on it as he was so loved by so many. I looked closely at his face, his eyes, and all at once I realized why I never really have any problem accepting the fact that my heavenly Father loves me. I saw the same love, kindness, patience and understanding in those eyes that I know God has for me. So many people struggle to understand why God could possibly love them but I was blessed with a father that showed me God's love everyday. Thanks Dad.

Another week. Time just moves too quickly. Mike will be leaving for market this week - again!! He'll be gone too long but there is nothing I can do about it. I am, however, looking forward to a quick visit from my sister. So I should breeze through this market. I'm not quite sure why, but I am still fighting lack of motivation, 4 months into this year. Hopefully, when the spring rains leave and the sun comes out on a regular basis, this will pass. I really hate feeling this way, but I can't seem to use enough "mind over matter" to rise above it. Life really is good and there is no reason that I can find so I better get busy and decide what will be on my table tonight for Kerri and the boys.

My daughter had a very good idea after looking at the pictures I just posted. In this picture is my son on the left, Matt Meeks and Joel Meeks on the right. Mikey and Joel have been friends for a long time. My dad had just taken them fishing in this one. They spent long summer days playing in the creek behind Joels house. I don't ever remember them having an argument. You see, Joel is a very special friend, a very special person. He has ALWAYS been there for Mikey. They played little league baseball together, went to high school together and played on golf teams together. Joel and Mikey took two very different roads but they were always in sight of each other. And whenever my son's road got rough, his buddy was there with his unconditional friendship. So that was then and this is now. Thanks Joel Meeks from a very appreciative mother. You're like a son to me.

I realized I never posted any pictures of our celebration of Mikey's 1Year Anniversary. Life has really moved at a quick pace, I can hardly believe it is April. Mikey and Nicole just celebrated their first wedding anniversary. Just thought I would give you a glimpse of my life lately in pictures.

Meditating this morning I realized how many beautiful women are in my life. Women that have been a huge part of my life in many different ways. Family and friends that are like family. This morning I began thinking about my prayer list and the fact that it is full of those women and they really need prayers on their behalf. Prayers to understand what is happening in their bodies, prayers to heal that lifelong partner, prayers to open doors to the calling they feel on their lives. I would love to know and deliver all their answers, but I don't. So.... I pray in faith believing that one day these beautiful women will receive. So today and tomorrow and the day after that, I promise to continue to lift you all up and stand with you til we see His hand.

Well, we spent most of our Saturday shopping. "What are we shopping for?" you might ask. Well.... in 1999, I owned a beautiful little candy apple red mustang. I loved that car. I had it for three months and totaled it. I have mourned that car for 10 years now. We went shopping for a mustang. But my husband doesn't want just a mustang. Men and women really look at cars from different viewpoints. This time around, it won't be a necessary car it will be a toy, something that we take joy rides in. My husband found that toy today. It is a 2009 Shelby Mustang convertible, blue with a wide racing strip down the middle. I told my husband I would look ridiculous driving this car but I got behind the wheel and boy was it fun. My husband and I are fairly practical people and this is a big step. It's on a 24 hr. hold at the dealership and we are "sleeping on it". I'll let you know what happens.

Trey is on spring break this week and we had a date. I took him to see Bedtime Stories. Great flick by the way. It was so much fun to hear him giggle throughout the movie. Trey is special. I keep getting the feeling that he will contribute greatly to this world. I really had fun with him. But I sat there, staring at him as he watched the screen and wished I could go back. He seemed to slip through my hands as a toddler. I look forward to lots of dates with this young man, I can only hope he wants to spend time with his Nanna for lots of dates to come.

Last night I went to see PRAY THE DEVIL BACK TO HELL. An unbelievable true story of some ordinary yet extraordinary women who refused to settle for the life they and their children were living because of evil. It is the story of Liberia and it is something everyone should see. I watched these strong, passionate women join together and accomplish something truly remarkable and wondered if I would have the strength and determination in that situation. They were tired of running from murderers and rapists and watching their children live a life of hell on earth. Yet they did it all through prayer and sacrifice, they never raised an earthly weapon. Go see this movie. It will move you.

Today would have been my Dad's 90th birthday. I have his picture hanging in my entryway in a frame that quotes Jeremiah 17:7-8. "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream... its leaves are always green." That is how my dad lived his life and that is the heritage he left me. My dad left us on some level several months before his body actually left. I really thought I would have an easier time with his death because of that. I was wrong. I miss him greatly. He was a wonderful man who never had an enemy. He had one of the sweetest spirits I have ever known. A huge hole has been left in our family that will never be filled. We were all truly blessed to have had him as a husband, a father, a grandfather and a true example of a man of God. Happy birthday Dad.

I wish there were more answers.