Trying to bring some sort of closure to the way Kerri's adoption journey has ended. I gave my heart away to this little girl a long time ago and she will ALWAYS have it. I worked on something today to help me remember and at the same time move on. I framed her beautiful picture with some scripture and it will be placed in a place that I will see often. I just hope she feels the prayers from some people in the USA that have been and will always be prayed for her.

It's been such a long journey and this is not the ending we were hoping for. But our little Nana will not be coming home. Pray for this child. May God keep her in His love and may she grow strong and always know there are people far, far away that love her very much.

I love walking around my house after the kids have been here. Kerri and Cora and the boys spent the week-end and the typical signs are everywhere... a drawing with "to nana from trey" scrawled on top, catalogs with dog-eared pages to mark the spot (things they must have) and pieces of toys found everywhere for days. I LOVE it. I wouldn't want it any other way. I smile everytime I find a marker or a candy wrapper and that usually happens for several days. I hope their memories are as wonderful as mine.

I was just reading my daughter's blog about delivering our beautiful little Cora Jean. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that God is really in control. We make plans and think we know what will be. Nobody expected to hear the words "I'm pregnant" from my daughter again. They had other plans. But so did God. She is beautifully perfect and I already find myself thinking how empty our family would seem without her. Kerri and Eric had plans for a little girl to enter their family. None of us really know where those plans are right now, only God knows. But for now, I am so happy that God had Cora in mind and I can't wait to get to know her. God has blessed our family... once again.

A song I really love by Elton John says, "all life is precious and every day's a prize". Days can certainly bring "sur"-prises too, some good, some not so much. At least it may not seem so good on the surface. But I choose to believe that even what may start as troublesome, can really turn out for good. I really want to take hold of everyday and squeeze it and learn from it and move on from it. As I get older, I find I'm not wanting to move on so quickly and I would even like to stand still from time to time. But that's not possible and so I just hope I can move on for a long time to come. (LOL=facebook speak, meaning laugh out loud!) So here are some pics that remind me that Elton just might be right.

Easter week. What a wonderful time for the Christian to celebrate. My pastor reminded me that EVERYTHING changed with the events that we call Easter. From that point on, nothing was ever the same. I'm thanking God for the cross, the grave and the power of His resurrection this week.

He became sin, who knew no sin,
That we might become His righteousness.
He humbled Himself and carried the cross...
Love so amazing, love so amazing....

Jesus Messiah, name above all names,
Blessed Redeemer, Emmanuel.
The rescue for sinners
The ransom from heaven
Jesus Messiah, Lord of all.

His body the bread, His blood the wine,
Broken and poured out all for love.
The whole earth trembled and the veil was torn.....

Love so amazing, love so amazing!

I like these words I found this morning.

Celebrate the temporary
Don't wait until tomorrow - Live today
Celebrate the simple things
Enjoy the butterfly
Embrace the snow
Run with the ocean
Delight in the trees or a single lonely flower
Go barefoot in the wet grass

Don't wait until all the problems are solved
or all the bills are paid - you will wait forever.
Eternity will come and go and you
will still be waiting

Live in the now
with all its problems and its agonies,
with its joy and its pain

Celebrate your pain, your despair, your anger
It means you're alive
Look closer, breathe deeper, stand taller,
stop grieving the past

There is joy and beauty
Today

It is temporary, here now and gone

so celebrate it while you can
Celebrate the temporary

-From Celebrate the Temporary by Clyde Reid

Had trouble getting to sleep last night. So many friends on my mind experiencing so much pain. So... I prayed. I finally dropped off to sleep and their faces were right there when I woke. Music helps more than anything. It expresses things I am incapable of expressing, it soothes my soul. I heard this one for today.

How many names an I use to explain the love of my Jesus, the life that He gave
And so many times will I praise You today, I lift up my life 'cause you're always the same
And my offering to You I bring

Your name is Jesus. Your name is Jesus.
You're the Wonderful, Counselor, my Friend.
You're what I hold on to; I know that You brought me through
All the days of loss, to the cross You knew... I'd need a Savior

How many songs can I sing to proclaim Your wondrous love and beauty so great?
What would I say if You brought down the rain and everyday I walk through the pain
My heart would still say...

You're what I hold on to; I know that you brought me through
All the days of loss, to the cross You knew... I'd need a Savior

Cora Jean Stetler finally entered the world on March 4th at 10:15 a.m. She is a beautiful bouncing baby girl weighing 8 lb. 8 oz and measuring 21 3/4" . Everything is perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes, and a combination of all her brothers giving her a face like no other. Sometimes I am totally overwhelmed with the thought of how blessed I am with these unbelievable grandchildren. I can't wait to get her started on this journey with all of us. God bless you Cora Jean. Nana loves you.

Life is so strange. I'm sitting here waiting for a little angel to enter this earth and I just found out the angels came and took a good friend from this us. Bittersweet, so much of life is bittersweet. We love you Marollyn, we will miss your smile. Enjoy what God has prepared for you. Welcome Cora Jean, we can't wait to see you, straight from heaven to bless us here on earth.

These words of a song we sang in church blew me away this morning. "You paint the morning sky with miracles in mind". I have no doubt that I approach too many days, not looking for God's miracles. The chorus says; "How deep, how wide, how great is Your love for me". Forgive me Lord, may I look to the sky to find your miracle in every day. May I never stop being amazed at the miracle of your love for me.

Well, back from a beautiful week in Puerto Rico. We had perfect weather, the only down-side was that Mike had to work. But I reminded him, if it wasn't for his job, we wouldn't even be there. I proved to myself that attitude is everything. I wasn't sure about so many days with nothing to do but sit by the pool but I chose to go with it, knowing life would get crazy with a new grandbaby and all. I was able to relax and relish every minute. I never wished the time away and when the time came to return, I was ready to see my home and family. I think I am finally learning how to live in the moment.

While I was gone, Trey showed us what he is made of and had some oral surgery. It sounds like he did great. I can't wait to see all the boys. Everyone will be over Sunday for a Valentine lunch.

This will sound really random but I haven't been able to blog for a while and this has been on my mind. The last OSU game I was at, honored the 1960 Championship team. I remember it like it was yesterday. They also unveiled a banner in the Schott, to honor the coach of that tem, Fred Taylor. I sat there and thought how important it is to send the roses while they are alive. This banner should have gone up a long, long time ago, he was a great coach and everyone knew he was an even better man.

I hope to do a better job at this as I go forward with my life. There are so many people around me that deserve to be thanked for the way they have touched my life.

Mike finally got home from another week away. However, he's been comatose most of the day. That's just what happens after a market. It's been a good week-end. Went to see both Trey and Riley play basketball. They are so much fun to watch. Kerri, Eric and the boys spent the rest of the day with me and watched OSU take a disappointing defeat. My mom joined us for the game. Unfortunately, Mom is not doing so well lately. I am hoping it is just some medication problems. I will be taking her for an MRI tomorrow. She has fought hard to win over her loneliness but I think she is just getting tired.

Not feeling the greatest tonight. Worried about my mom, took her to the doc today. They will run some tests. Quiet in the house tonight. Then I checked my e-mail and I got the best message in the world from my oldest grandson. It's so nice to be loved so unconditionally. Kids know how to do that so naturally. Friends over tomorrow night and dinner sometime with the Stetler kids this week. Mikey, Nicole and Austin were over for lunch yesterday and we played monopoly. Nothing beats just being together. I wouldn't trade those times for anything. Just a little melancholy but I often am this time of the year. I keep reminding myself it won't be TOO long til we'll be here:

I'm trying, I'm really trying. I just don't understand. Why is there a beautiful little girl in Liberia that is loved and wanted by a family here and it just doesn't seem to happen? Why are there two little boys in Haiti that were scheduled to come to a loving family next week, but instead they are enduring a massive earthquake and may not make it home. I look at pictures of these children and all I can do is cry and ask why. There are no answers, only questions. So I will pray and as I pray I am reminded that God has taken care of them to this point and He will not leave them. I pray for miracles, yes, I still believe in miracles.

So far so good. I've spent more time with God in the mornings. Don't know why I seem to wander from this practice. I always leave that meeting place more calm and focused for the day and realizing that He leaves that place with me. I find it easier to live one day at a time and I enjoy that day and get so much more accomplished. Somehow I don't even feel as tired at the end of it all. It's just good to know that we're friends.

Today is shopping and the OSU basketball game with my daughter. More snow tomorrow and that's fine with me. Just hope my sister can get in from OKC on Friday night. Sunday will be a fun day with a baby shower to get ready for our little Cora Jean. It's coming soon and I still am having trouble thinking pink. I've had a lot of blue years!! I spent some of yesterday checking out tutus online. Can you say Princess?!

It's mind-boggling. My husband and I were talking about all that has happened in the last decade, 10 short years and it's mind-boggling. I wasn't even a Nana when we rang in 2000. Wow, it's been quite a ride. Good and bad, but even out of the bad has come good. I owe that all to God. He is a master at that. I wouldn't want to be doing this life any other way than with God and the family and friends He has given me. I'm looking forward to this year. I'm sure not every day will be wonderful and free from stress. But I proved a LONG time ago, that with God I can get through anything and come out on the other side knowing He was with me the entire way. I hope and pray 2010 will find me to be a better follower of His. I'm sure He won't fail me, I certainly don't want to fail Him.

Another beautiful Christmas day is over. What do I love about Christmas? Everything. I know it is talked about often and at the risk of sounding cheesy, I really want to carry Christmas with me this year. Christmas is real, there is no reason why I can't celebrate it all year and this coming year that is exactly what I am going to do.

I'm sure my Dad is smiling about the thoughtful gift my daughter and son-in-law gave. I have a wonderful, hand- made porch swing that my dad made for me years ago. I would hate to think what it would cost if bought, it is so well made. It is in need of some tender loving care and she has contacted my wonderful handyman and he will come and make it look like new.

I continue to carry on the tradition of mis-placed gifts on Christmas morning. I'm sure my Dad is smiling about that too.

I hope you all had a wonderful day, and maybe you are thinking about carrying Christmas with you throughout 2010 also. Happy New Year.

Counting my blessings tonight. Sooo many!! Family, friends, health, hope. Looking forward to a beautiful Christmas and a wonderful New Year. Thankful for the way God leads and directs us and the peace He gives when we trust Him.

It's been a while since my last post. I have accomplished a more relaxed approach to Christmas this year. I am finding myself getting up Very early and enjoying the quiet and lights of the house. I love Christmas lights. I am almost finished with my shopping. A few things are still on their way from the virtual shopping mall. I have found a balance of online shopping and shopping "on foot" so to speak. It seems like the more I wrap, the more there is to wrap.

More changes to come in the family. My kids certainly keep things interesting. More to come on this as it develops.

Today is Trey's birthday. What a special little boy. (I know, you hear me say that about all of them) He had a fun pool party with his friends. Everybody loves Trey. As he grows I realize that he is going to be one of those people that know how to make the people around him feel special and accepted.
We will be celebrating Friday night with a Star Wars cake. He has ordered mac'n cheese, green beans and rolls. Happy Birthday Trey!!