Happy 54th birthday to me. I spent a very nice evening with my fantastic husband. Dinner at Hoggy's, We Are Marshall - great flick and a dip of coconut chip at Graeter's. Yes, I know it's hard to believe when you look at me that I'm 54 but nevertheless it is true. I really didn't feel like my age when I was singing to Love Shack in the car tonight!!Ha!! And this old lady is looking forward to seeing Rod Stewart in concert (seven rows from the stage). I hope I have 54 more to go.

Another beautiful Christmas. Christmas eve was spent at my mom and dad's apartment. It was bitter sweet. My mom really enjoyed having us there. The highlight for me was hearing Eric sing again. I don't get that opportunity very often. O Come, O Come, Emmanuel. Thanks Eric. Christmas day was wonderful. I enjoyed every minute. It was kind of difficult to hear my Dad ask if it was Christmas day. No snow but all in all a blessed day. I was still hunting for presents as they were being opened. I think the problem boils down to too many presents. Oh but it is sooooo much fun. I usually have some trouble facing the new year. I don't know why. But this year I feel very good about 2007. I will turn .... well I'll turn a year older in two days and then we will spend a quiet New Years Eve with some friends, and another year will begin. May we all live one day at a time and live that day to the fullest. I will try to rest in the fact that whatever 2007 brings, God is in control; there is no other way to live. Happy New Year!!!

I have a very busy day today so I slept in a little later this morning and chose to put a CD in for church today. I picked up an old Trans-Siberian Orchestra CD this season because I love one of the songs always played on the radio. But I got far more than one good song. This CD is a story. A story about Christmas, angels, prayers, grace, hopes and dreams - all the things I truly believe in. I highly recommend this one. It is entitled Christmas Eve and Other Stories. Listen to it with the words in hand from beginning to end. I think you'll like it.

Riley called me one day last week and said he wanted to bring his friend Lance to Nana's house. It has been very important to me that my house is a fun place to be and tomorrow he is bringing his friend to play here. How cool is that?!!! Basketball, a jeep ride and decorating rudolph cookies will be a few things on the agenda. Then tomorrow night we will go to his Christmas program at his school and Saturday is Trey's birthday party. Sunday after church is a Christmas buffet at my Mom's apartment and then a few friends over for a little get-to-gether. Monday I hope to wrap up my Christmas shopping. Today I received a framed black and white picture of my sister and me as little girls on Christmas morning. My sister sent it to me and I will cherish it. I have spent a lot of time thinking back this Christmas season. I'm not sure why, but I have re-lived a lot of past holiday seasons this year.

Well, knock on wood I think we're on the mend. Baby Evan has been too sick for too long. Trey had a cold and Riley had the stomach bug. But through all of this I got to take Riley and Trey to see Santa Clause 3 well, at least the first half hour of it thanks to scary Jack Frost!! Then we went to see the real Santa Claus complete with pictures. We saw Happy Feet and they loved that. Yesterday Trey went to the Ohio State Basketball game with his PaPa. It's good to know that Trey is comfortable in his own skin and knows himself very well. PaPa asked him what he had been up to and he nonchalantly looked at him and said, "trouble". I just love that kid!!! Trouble proceeded to eat his hot dog and dippin' dots, climb up on his seat and sleep through the entire first half.

Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone. We had a nice time with the family. Evan is still coughing and taking breathing treatments but he is improving. Trey has some kind of gunk coming out of his eyes and Mike and Mikey are both sick. I have Mikey at my house filling him up with Juice Plus and veggies. He takes such lousy care of himself its no wonder he can't get well. I got back to the gym today after dealing with some foot pain and it really felt good. I am 99% done with my decorating and I am pooped. Tomorrow is movie day with the boys - Santa Clause 3. It should be fun. Then shopping with my friend Ruth and dinner with the guys on Wednesday. Next week is Mikey's operation and I will be glad when that is over. I took some decorations to my Mom's apartment yesterday. Dad was really confused when we were putting up the tree Thursday. He asked if we were taking it down!! I'm not dealing well with the empty eyes my Dad has these days. He lived such a vibrant life, it doesn't seem right for it to be this way. I've really been missing my sister lately. I really wish we could all be together for Christmas this year. A lot of things just don't seem right.

I feel so bad right now. Evan is still very sick and Kerri has just about hit the wall. We are all really concerned for the little peanut. I just wish there was something I could do for her. Funny thing is, she feels the same about her child. See, it never changes. It doesn't matter how young or how old they are, you still are the mother and you still should be able to "make it all better". I still see her as my little girl and she's having a tough time. I just hope and pray that today will bring healing to Evan's little body and rest for my little girl.

Monday morning, hit the ground running, little frustrations - life. But this morning I am thanking God for his hand of protection over Riley. He came far too close to getting hit by a car today. My mind can't even go there. God is good and really does watch over us. Sometimes we don't even realize it but this time if was all too obvious, too close for comfort. Baby Evan is really struggling but I am sure God is watching over him too. It is so hard to watch a little one hurt. He is so good when his Mommy gives him the breathing treatments. He has such a sweet spirit. I thank God today for all three of my little ones. Life just wouldn't be the same without them.

FYI on a lighter note - Ty Pennington is in Whitehall. They're starting on a house tomorrow. Am I there? You bet I am!!!

I just got home from keeping Riley and Trey while Kerri took Evan to the dr. He has a respiratory infection. His cough sounds pretty bad. He sat up on my lap and slept while Mommy was out getting what he needs and after he woke up he was blowing bubbles and smiling even with a fever. He is such a sweetie. It just breaks my heart when they are sick. Kerri really needs some sleep. I pray they are all able to rest and that Evan experiences God's healing touch. Nana loves you all.

I spent the week-end with my little Batman and Robin and then tonight I met up with them again. They are soooooooo much fun. The only disappointment was that the weather dictatated that our little pumpkin stay home with Daddy. Now that Halloween is over I'm looking forward to the REAL holidays. Halloween is not my favorite but the little ones make it fun. Papa tried to buy his favorite candy (Smartees) from Robin for a dollar but it didn't work. He's very protective of his candy. I came home with my treat from my daughter for watching the kids - coconut flavored malted milk balls from Pittsburgh!! Thanks Kerri! Looking forward to starting my Christmas shopping this week.

When I survery the wondrous cross
on which the Prince of Glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss
and pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
save in the death of Christ, my God;
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See, from his head, his hands, his feet,
sorrow and love flow mingled down.
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet,
or thorns compose so rich a crown.

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
that were an offering far too small;
love so amazing, so divine
demands my soul, my life, my all.

We are home and we had a good week-end with family from Oklahoma. It was nice to see Eric and meet his new love. She was very sweet. I'm really tired but tomorrow will be a day to clean up the house from the re-modeling done while we were gone. My aunt will be in for just a very short time on Tuesday. Then I need to start thinking about Christmas shopping. It doesn't seem possible that the holidays are almost here. The sale at my mom's house is next week-end and it is getting a little emotional for me. I saw a video this week-end of Christmas, '81. I was pregnant with Mikey. When my Dad came on the screen it was a very weird feeling. That "dad" isn't here anymore. I had forgotten how it was like when he was young and vibrant. My parents were about the age I am now. Scary. Oh well, time marches on and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it except live every day to the fullest. Here's to another beautiful holiday season!!

Well, I guess there's no way around it. I'm off to beautiful downtown Highpoint N.C. tomorrow for furniture market. Back in about 10 days.

Everyone needs to get a copy of the Faith & Value section of the Dispatch or look it up on the net. At the bottom of the first page is an example of missional living in every sense of the word and I have had the privilege of knowing this man since I was 5 yrs old. I love how he is described by one man as being immaculately humble, and an excessive servant. He was my optometrist for years, I even worked for him for a while. I still attend church with him. He has used his gifts to the fullest and is always ready to give what he has. He is a true inspiration and I am a better person for knowing him. I have been thinking lately of the blessings God has given me by the people that have been placed in my life. The people in our lives play such a role in making us who we are and I thank God for surrounding me with some of the very best.

We had some wild weather tonight. Our deck was covered in almost golf-ball size hail that piled up probably an inch thick. We have dents in our cars and holes in our siding. Thankfully there weren't any tornados and we are all safe and sound. My parents live on the second floor of their building and so does Mikey. I'm always glad to see a storm end with everybody safe. Tomorrow I will get ready to have our very good friends over for dinner. I love doing that. We are going to talk about what we have come up with for a trip together in Jan. or Feb.
I heard a new song this week that really expresses some things I have been thinking about lately. The good Lord didn't bless me with the talent to put my thoughts down on paper so I'm glad some other people are able to do that for me. Sometimes I wonder if I have made a difference. Sometimes I wonder how people will remember me or even if they will. If I am remembered, this song talks about how I hope that will be.

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an "atta boy" or "atta girl"
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well done, good and faithful one..."

GO BUCKS!!!

It's been a while. I feel like I have gone from one project to another since returning from vacation. I am enjoying the cool weather and trying to get some things done to the house before I leave for market. Riley and Trey are going to spend the night with us Friday. I'm looking forward to the time with them. Saturday everybody (except Jen!!) will be over for some time together primarily so Mom and Dad can see everybody. It's been awhile for them. Just some Saturday afternoon hang time - it will be good for Dad to get out. Today they are moving the big antique china cabinet from Mom's to my house. I am very nervous. We decided to go with the professionals for this one. I will be glad when it is safe and sound. Speaking of that I better get going so I can get it emptied before they get there. Keep your fingers crossed!!

We're home and we had a wonderful time. Mike and Mikey and I drove through the night last night and Kerri, Eric and the kids should be home tomorrow. I'm looking forward to fall and all the good things that come with the season. Unfortunately I will have to get through market before I can really enjoy it. We will leave for that in about three weeks. We had such a good time watching the boys play in the ocean etc. etc. Evan changed so much during the two weeks. He is so much more aware of everything around him and responds to you so much more. They change so quickly. Think I'll hit the sack early tonight, tired from the drive.

We made it to the beach. What an absolutely beautiful place!!! We are having such a good time. The trip went very good especially considering we had three little ones. We've had some rain and clouds but we are having fun relaxing and slowing down. Mike and Mikey are on the golf course for the second time and Kerri and I took the little ones to spend their vacation money. Riley found a pirate costume, he looks pretty cute. We'll try to post some pictures soon. Tomorrow we will celebrate my daughter's birthday. I won't say how old because then I would have to think how old I am. It seems like we all get so tired early in the evening but we finally managed to stay up and play some Uno Attack last night. We're looking forward to the weather improving tomorrow. More fun in the sun!!!

Well, just two more night-night times and we leave for the beach. That's how Riley and Trey count the days - by night-night times. I keep checking the weather forecast and honestly it doesn't look that good for the first week. But Mike and I were talking and the most important thing is that we all get away and be with each other. Family, they are everything. I just want us to leave life behind and enjoy being together. So I pray for safe travel and good times letting life slow down if just for a little while.

I've been having blog problems but thanks to Jen I think it's solved. Busy getting my parents settled. Just seems like there are odds and ends that have to be done everyday. I have to start getting ready for the beach (bought the sunscreen today) We are traveling lighter this trip. That will make my husband happy. He has already decreed that we will not be using the car-top this year so everybody must pack lightly. I can't believe it is that time again. It seemed to sneak up on me this year - just so many other things on my mind. We are keeping our fingers crossed that Mother Nature will continue to cooperate this season. It has been relatively quiet SHHHH!! There has been some colds or allergies floating around the family but nothing that a little salt air won't take care of. Two weeks with my favorite people at the beach. There's just nothing better than that!!

TGIF!! I have spent this week moving my Mom and Dad and cleaning out their home of 41 yrs. Need I say more? I am convinced that they didn't throw one thing away in that time span. Yea, but we sure did!! I don' t know what I would have done had my sister not come for the week to help me. We've laughed and cried and we are exhausted. I think I'll go away for a couple days next week. The guys are leaving for Tupelo and Mom and Dad are settled and I will be "fancy free"!! Think I'll do a little early Christmas shopping. It won't be long you know.

Happy Birthday to my wonderful first-born grandson Riley Michael. He is one of the very best things in my life. I can't believe he is "5" today. Tonight we will celebrate his life, a life that has already taught me many things. I love you Riley.

Evan has been dedicated to the Lord. He is such a sweet baby and my prayer is for him to fall in love with Jesus at an early age. I have learned (I know I'm a slow learner) that being truly in love with Jesus is all that really matters. I am awaiting my sister's arrival so we can move my parents to an independent living home. I will really be glad when we have accomplished this. Saturday is the day, but the work will go on far past that. The house is so full of stuff, it will take quite some time to finish this project. I have so much on my mind lately, I don't really feel like myself. So many changes taking place around me. I don't do well with change. Once again, a song to help me express myself.

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don't know.

And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this tuth that my life has been formed from the dust.

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never undersstand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I'm filled with awe and wonder
'Til the only burning question that remains
is who am I

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me?
He is first and last before all that has been,
Beyond all that will pass.

God is God and I am not.

Another week-end. After working at my mom's house for a few hours I swore I would not leave that much stuff for my kids to sort through. So...every year I will clean out my house. We worked on the basement today. Now we have a garage full of junk. It feels good to get rid of stuff and get somewhat organized. We have an olympic star in the family. Riley won first place in the softball throw at the toddler olympics. He was the youngest in the event and brought home the blue ribbon. Tomorrow we dedicate little Evan and we will bring Riley and Trey home to spend the night and go to the zoo Monday. I am really looking forward to spending some time with them. Evan is smiling and trying to make noises. He is so sweet. I love my boys. Mike and Mikey have gone for Chipotle and I think the rest of the day will be relaxation with my two bigger boys.

Just finished Blue Like Jazz. Good book. It had a lot to say but the end said it all - there is nothing that compares to truly falling in love with Jesus. I don't always do the right things, I don't always please him in my choices. But there is something inside me that makes Him love me and I am so glad for that. It isn't complicated, I love Him and He loves me and that's really all I need to know.

What a great Sunday!! It started with an unbelievable sermon from our worship leader. Unfortunately he has resigned. He is an awesome person and I have watched him evolve into one of the best preachers I have ever heard. Fear was the topic of his sermon; a topic I think we all can relate to. We've all said "what if"... the words that invite fear. "Then God..." If those are the words that finish the sentence - fear is banished. It's really sad when you haven't heard an old hymn for so long that you have forgotten how powerful the words are. We sang "How Firm a Foundation". WOW may I never forget what that song says.

Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God I will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee thy trials to bless
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flames shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

E'en down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And when hoary hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake
I'll never, no never, no never forsake!

As I was leaving the first service, I watched my mother walk in to the second by herself. You see my dad was at home, not able to attend much anymore. My parents have lived this song in front of me. I am watching God's unbelievable grace carry my mom through a very hard time. Because of them, I know these words to be true. No one will ever convince me otherwise. He is a firm foundation even down to old age that will never forsake us.

The rest of the day included a work-out at the gym with my husband, lunch at our favorite chinese place, some training for the new guy and watching the Espy's with Pup. It was a great show with some very inspiring stories.

I'm looking forward to a visit from Kerri and the boys this morning.

I know I have used these words here before but I really like this. I was reminded of this song today and I think there is a lot of comfort in their simplicity.

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering
When you're lonely
And it feels like the whole world is fallin on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus

To the widow who struggles with being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

Cry out to Jesus

Thank goodness He never gets tired of hearing our cries. Have a blessed Sunday

We're enjoying a very nice week-end with nothing we have to do. Mike is watching a movie I am not the least interested in so thought I would post a blog. We met the boys at Easton for just a little while today. They saw Curious George at the bookstore then played in the fountains. Evan just slept. He is so cute. Mike and I did a little shopping and had lunch at Fado.
We are still in the long process of trying to decide the timeline to move my mom and dad. I know what my timeline would be but it has to ultimately be her decision. I will really be glad to put this time behind and get them settled. I guess the work will actually just begin once we move them. So much to do with the house it makes my head swim.
Last night we stopped by one of Gahanna's establishments for a quick dinner and our neighbors walked in and ate with us. I love it when things like that happen unplanned.
Mike and I will be going to Nashville Indiana for a few days this week - one of my very favorite places!! I am really looking forward to it. Church tomorrow and a new week begins. Summer is flying by. Enjoy, drink lots of lemonade and relax. That's my plan.

I've been busy lately. Not a lot to post about. I have been looking for a place to move my parents. It has become painfully obvious that it is time. It hasn't been the most enjoyable thing to be involved in but we're getting through it. Trying to decide what kind of place they needed has been the first hurdle. They are really at different places when it comes to their needs. We are doing what we think is best and I am following my gut you might say. Gahanna has some really nice places and we are hoping to move them by the first week of August. Now that the decision is made I really need to get this finished and have them settled. I don't know what to expect from my Dad. He is not happy about this and it is next to impossible to discuss anything rationally with him anymore. I am trying to keep a positive attitude, hoping the move will transpire smoothly. For the longest time I thought it would be fun to have the families of three of my friends over for a cook-out. So I finally made that happen this past Saturday. It was really fun. We will probably try to make it a yearly event. We had 22 adults, seven rug-rats and two cutie patooties, lots of food and an all-around good time. We passed on Red White and Boom this because of little Evan. Papaw says "thanks"!! It just wasn't the same for me on t.v. but that's o.k. I'll take Evan any day. Trey and Riley will get back from the cottage today. I'm sure they'll have lots of tales to tell. I don't have a clue where June went. It seems to be the fastest moving month every year. I just wish summer would slow down. I'm trying to spend some leisure time and enjoy summer on my new porch. I purchased two new books - Blue Like Jazz and Velvet Elvis. "Everybody" seemed to be reading them so I thought I would see what they are all about. I started with Blue Like Jazz and I am thoroughly enjoying it. I'm getting fairly good at Sudoku also!!

Mike has been gone this week with Mikey on a golf trip. They are really having a good time. I really miss him though. I'll be glad when tomorrow night comes. Tomorrow is our anniversary. We will celebrate Friday instead. Thirty two years and still counting. We have had some tough times like everyone but never once did those stressful things pull us apart. Quite the contrary, they brought us closer. Trust me when I say that the bad I refer to could have and often does pull people apart. I'm not bragging, I'm giving God the thanks because His strength and power in our lives is what kept us from turning on each other. My husband was ALWAYS there for me, ALWAYS. He was by my side when we lost Kerri's twin sister. We mourned together. He has been patient with me through two times of real emotional weakness. He could have so easily turned and walked away. He literally held me up when I saw my son for the first time after his car accident. When his world caved in and we woke up one morning without any source of income he chose to put one foot in front of the other and do whatever he had to do to get us to the other side. And he did. He is a rock. He is my friend. He is my partner.

Three of the most beautiful boys in the world for me to love. I am blessed far beyond what I deserve. It didn't take long for Evan and Nana to bond. He has already stolen a piece of my heart. For some reason I was concerned during this pregnancy but thank goodness all is well. My little girl is such a trooper and has so much love to give. I am so very, very proud of her. Sorry about all the bragging, I just can't help myself.

Well he made it!! What a precious little boy he is. I stayed with Kerri yesterday evening and when Evan came back from his bath he was wide awake . I couldn't believe how alert he was. He listened to me as if he understood every word I said. They sure do know how to make some cute little ones. Mom and baby are doing well and Riley and Trey are proud big brothers. Life is good.

Well, its getting close. In some ways it seems as if it has been forever and in others it seems like yesterday that Kerri learned she was expecting. Friday is the big day. I will go tomorrow afternoon to get "big biddy" and "little biddy". They will spend the night and then we will take them to Grant hospital Friday afternoon to see their new little brother. We are all really excited. Evan will be born the day before Mikey's birthday so we went out tonight to celebrate Pup's 24th birthday. That seems impossible. We had a good time at Gibby's and we met the new kitten he got from his girlfriend. I have tried to get some rest this week as I know it will be a busy week-end but an exciting one. It's just so hard to believe that in a few short hours there will be a new edition to the family and very quickly we will wonder how we ever got along without him. I guess I better get to bed, tomorrow will be here soon.

Waiting. I'm not very good at that. We are waiting for Evan Daniel to arrive. Friday is the day. At least we know when it will happen. It would be really nice if he would come sooner. We'll wait and see. Graduation parties filled this week-end. This is a nice time of the year. Some of these kids that are graduating were in my pre-school class. They're getting older but thank goodness I'm not!! I held a newborn just for practice today. I can't wait til it is our own Evan!!

Kerri and the boys just left. The house seems so quiet. They have been here since Monday because Eric has been out of town. I wanted her close by in case she went into labor. We had such a good time. It is non-stop motion where the boys are concerned. I loved every minute of them being here. Eric and Mike will be getting back in town tonight. Evan's birthday is coming quickly. Just one more week. It will be so good to have one more to hug. I better rest up because next week will be a busy one.

I haven't felt very well since I returned from my trips. I've got some kind of crud and can't seem to shake it. Mike and Mikey have it too. Hopefully it won't stay around much longer. My sun room is officially finished and Mike is picking up new furniture for it today. Looks like the weather for the week is going to cooperate and I can enjoy it. Monday should bring the family over for some fun. I'm going today to get Evan a new stroller. Mom and Kerri are going with me. I am so blessed to be able to spend time with my Mom at my age. I realize a lot of women my age don't have their mom around. Evan will soon be here and she will be able to see another great-grandchild.

I am by far the most blessed mother on the face of the earth. First I was taught to be a mother by a very precious lady. She taught me the importance of sharing a home-cooked meal with the entire family sitting at the table and doing this on a regular basis. She taught me the importance of being there when the kids get home from school. She taught me that sharing her faith by how she lived was something for priceless to pass on to her children.
Secondly, I found the best man in the world to parent with. He loves me and my children more than anything else in this world. We have always been his first priority. He has been a man of integrity for my children through every phase of their lives. He has often had to travel with his job but we never had a night go by without hearing from him and he always looked forward to coming home.
My kids - I don't even know where to begin. Kerri. I remember how we used to fight. I think all moms and daughters go through that. My friends would tell me, "just wait, you will be the best of friends". I hoped and prayed we would. Today she is my best friend. Her smile lights up my world. Her happiness is my happiness, her pain is my pain. She has given me more joy than I could ever deserve. She is beautiful inside and out. I hope I have played a small part in building the strong faith that gives her the strength that makes her such a lovely woman.
Mikey - Pup - my baby!! I go back so often in my mind to that little five-yr. old charmer with his blonde hair and ear-pierced. Yes he had his ear pierced at five. Maybe that's where I made the wrong turn. No, just kidding. Laughter has always been a part of home and that is largely due to Mikey. He was able to make us laugh when we were trying to discipline. He was able to make us laugh when life's circumstances should have been making us cry. I am very thankful for my son. He is a handsome, fun-loving, life-loving young man that has taught me to live a day at a time. He has lived that way all his life. He has had experiences that no one else in our family can relate to. I am sure as the years go by, he will continue to share what he has learned and we will all be better for it.
Riley - a little boy that is already teaching Nana so much. I can't wait to tell him how he helped me through a really tough time when he was only a baby, just by being there. I thank God for my grandchildren everyday. Riley with all his questions, so deep in thought but still able to be a little boy as silly and goofy as any. And Trey, ( Mikey re-incarnated) what will he get into next? Rough and tumble, short-round-one, Mommy's little bitty. Talk about a smile that lights up your world!! And I am about to be blessed once again. Evan, come quickly before your mommy loses it! Thank God for a wonderful son-in-law. He takes such good care of my daughter. I never have to worry that she is being loved.
I'm sorry for going on like this. But I am a very blessed Mother. Thank you all for being what makes my life so wonderful.










I'm sorry for going on. This isn't like me but I am a very blessed Mother. Thank you

I'm back. Good to be here but a really nice trip. It was good to see my sister and her family, share in a little of their lives in OKC, see where they live. I like to have pictures in my mind, it helps me feel closer. We shopped and laughed and basically did nothing. My sister works a 40 hr. week and watches over a husband, two "adult boys"(ha) and three grandkids. She doesn't have much time to do nothing. It was good for both of us to re-connect. Now I pick up with my life - one day at a time. Right now I could look ahead at some things coming up but I will try to continue living in this day. I'm glad to be home with my wonderful husband. I'm not crazy about traveling withot him. I'm going to hit the gym - it's been 2 weeks!! Then I hope to see the boys and Kerri. Yeaaaa!

Well, we have a scheduled date for Evan's arrival - June 9th. But even with it scheduled, you still don't know for sure. That happens to be one day before Pup's b-day. Another thing to celebrate in June. I think June will just be one continuous party for the family. Sounds good to me!! I'm getting ready for my trip to OKC. It will be so good to see everyone and to spend some quality time with my sister. Who knows what kind of trouble we might get into.

We are home. What a looooooooong week. All went well. The construction on the back of my house is going up like gangbusters. I am so excited. Now I will get ready to leave Thursday to visit my sister for a few days. I'm looking forward to that. I need to get some rest this week before I leave though. Hopefully I can see my little ones sometime today. I really missed them and I think Kerri has officially hit the pregnancy wall. Evan can't come too soon. Well, time to unpack and start laundry. WOW I'm tired!!!

Well, I can't avoid it any longer. The day has come. I'm off to market. YEAAAAAAA! My feelings can be summed up in Trey's words when I told him I wouldn't see him for awhile. (Ask Kerri) I sure will miss those cutie-patooties. We're off

My Jesus, my Savior
Lord there is none like You
All of my days
I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty llove

My comfort, my shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath
All that I am
Never cease to worship You

Shout to the Lord All the earth Let us sing
Power and majesty Praise to the King
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name
I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You

A wonderful Easter week-end! We celebrated Saturday with the family due to the fact that e.stetler had to work on Easter. Boo! But we had a great time. Then church with Mikey and Mike on Sunday followed by 18 holes of golf. It was supposed to rain but instead we enjoyed a gorgeous sunny day. Now begins the week before market. This market should be interesting as they all tend to be but all will be well. My husband just came home and announced that he had bought some new clothes for market. Well - I guess you know what I'll be doing tomorrow!!

Looking forward to a great Easter week-end. Seems like we just celebrated Christmas!! I had a date with another handsome guy yesterday. Yes, Trey and I went to Easton and enjoyed lunch at Max and Irmas and he made his build-a-bear. We made sure the bear was a different color than brother's . I am thanking God for an answer to prayer in our family. God doesn't always answer exactly the way we would think but it is always perfect. The future looks good with a new grandson and all kinds of things to look forward to. But I have learned that this "one day at a time" thing works pretty well for me. I have found some real peace living this way. I don't always accomplish it but most of the time I think I do o.k. I know I worry less than I ever have in my life. Maybe I'm just mellowing with my old age! Blessings to all on this Easter week-end.

Well, Riley put in a request for a date with Nana. I managed to clear my schedule to squeeze him in. (right!) We had such a fun day. Playing and lunch at McDonalds, watching the toy trains at Easton, visiting the Discovery Store, a quick "hello" to the Easter bunny and a walk through the Buckeye store. Then he took home a new friend from the Build-a-bear store with a spiderman costume just like his. I was wiped out at the end of this day but so much fun with my handsome little man. I'm sure a date with Trey will soon follow.

Well, this will be a first for me. I usually don't use this journal to rant but this morning I feel drawn to express myself. I just saw on T.V. a complete contradiction of who God is and what He is about. I was watching an interview with Rosie O'Donnell about her new documentary that is getting so much attention. She apparently invited gay families to take a cruise with her and her family. As they pulled out to sea there was a group of "christians" demonstrating against gay marriages. Screaming, pointing fingers, making their presence impossible to ignore. Then I listened to the rest of the interview. She talked very passionately about all the children in our foster system whose parents have terminally given up their rights to those children - 117,000 I believe was the number. She is full of compassion, just in my humble opinion wrong about her beliefs concerning sexuality. What makes me so emotional is that none of us are getting it right. I don't believe God is happy when we follow His laws but refuse to show His love in doing it. God help us all!!

They all walked away, with nothing to say,
They'd just lost their dearest friend.
All that He said, now He was dead,
So this was the way it would end.
The dreams they had dreamed were not what they'd seemed,
Now that He was dead and gone.
The garden the jail, the hammer, the nail,
How could a night be so long.

Then came the morning, night turned into day;
The stone was rolled away, hope rose with the dawn.
Then came the morning, shadows vanished before the sun,
Death had lost and life had won, for morning had come.

I am really glad to be starting a new week. Last week was not one I would like to re-live. Why is it that those seem to go on forever? Oh well, life goes on. I got back to the gym this morning and hopefully my normal flow will return. We got to spend some time with Riley, Trey and Kerri. That's always a good thing. I am giving a friends daughter a wedding shower Saturday. It should be fun. April is looking very hectic. I love Easter - everything new. Hope, that's what Easter gives us. Mark Palmer left some wonderful thoughts on hope; "Live your hope as if it is the one and only thing that sustains you in this ravaged world." I have learned that until we spend sometime in a place that makes us feel as if hope is all we have, we don't really understand how powerful hope can be. I'm looking forward to celebrating that hope in Jesus this Easter. Immediately after Easter we head for market I get back and leave for a visit with my sister. April will be gone before I know it.

Last night I had the privilege of feeding some hurting people. It seemed like such a small thing to do during a time of such grief. I mean bean salad!! Just wish I could have done more. Tonight I have my little ones so Kerri and Eric can be with their LP family during this time. As we were coming home from mac-n-cheese at Bob Evans, from the back I hear a stirring rendition of "God is Good" at the top of their lungs. Yea, it made me smile. So simple but so true - God IS good, ALL the time. Trying to answer 4 yr. old questions about death only makes me realize I don't have any answers. I don't understand it any better than he does. But I do know that because God is good, Mark is fine and the spring flowers will bloom and a baby will be born in June and Micah will grow and be strong. And when the next thing happens that we don't understand - God will still be good.

This prayer I pray for Amy, Micah, Mark's family, his LP family and all of us on this journey.

Almighty God, Lord of the storm and of the calm, of day and night, of life and death; grant to me so to have my heart stayed upon your faithfulness, your unchangingness and love, that whatsoever betides me, I may look upon You with untroubled eye. I ask it for thy mercy's sake Amen
George Dawson in Little Book of Prayers

I don't like myself very well right now. I let somebody down and I tried to fix it and there is nothing I can do. I'm sure there are a lot of lessons in this for me and I really hope I don't miss any of them. A new week. Hope I do better. Not much else to say.

Here I am
In a river of questions
Can I pour out my heart to a listening ear?
I see this life
It's valleys and mountains
And I think of all the roads that brought me here.

I've questioned my reasons
The life I'm living
I've questioned my ability
To judge wrong from right
I've questioned all the things that I've ever called certain
My race, my religion, my country, my mind!

But the one thing I don't question is You
You really love me like You say You do
You really love me like You say You do
Hold me
Hold me

I've questioned significance
Meaning and relevance
Does the work I'm doing really matter at all?
Well I've qustioned my friendships
Alliance, dependence
Who will still be here when I fall?

Only one thing doesn't change
Only one thing stays the same
All I know at the end of the day is Your love remains!!

Well, not the best week of my life but nothing I should complain too much about. It started out with my husband leaving for Fla. and for some reason I ended up at the doctor with a blood pressure count far too high. My fault - went off my meds. Then I picked up some kind of stomach flu I'm still wrestling with and finally got myself to the dentist after far too long. But today I spent time with some of my favorite people Riley, Trey and their Mommy. We went shopping for baby Evan, out to lunch and then I watched Monsters Inc. with my handsome four year old. Mike will be home tomorrow and I am really glad. Mikey and I will find a good place to watch OSU in the tournament. It will be a good day. I go to bed tonight praying for a lot of situations. On the top of my list is Mark and Amy and Micah. I have had times in my life that I could literally feel God's arms wrap around me. I pray that for them tonight. May God keep us all in His care.

Something isn't right with this picture. I'm ironing shorts and golf shirts for my husband to go on a golf trip. I am really jealous!! But I'm so glad he is able to go. He has worked so hard for so many years and finally he is being rewarded. I hope he has a great time. He leaves Saturday. I will just have to stay here and enjoy my wonderful kids and grandchildren. Gee, I have it rough don't I? Riley will be my date for the last OSU game Sunday. Everytime I talk to Trey on the phone he says, "Take me to the game Nana". I really wish I could. I hope we can get more seats next season. My wonderful son-in-law will be celebrating a birthday this week-end so I will treat him to dinner. Next week will be Jen's b-day - another celebration. Fun times!! Evan's big day will be here before we know it. I'm sure Kerri doesn't feel it is coming quick enough.

Another good week-end draws to a close. I enjoyed another OSU game with my husband. Boy that's fun. Especially when they win. GO BUCKS!!! Kerri, the boys, Jen, Mikey and Deanna spent the afternoon with us today. Mikey seems to be getting into the habit of Sunday being "Mom and Dad day". We had a relaxing time playing games, eating and just hanging out. Mom stopped by for a while too. Jen showed me how to buy songs to put on my IPOD I am going to treat myself to tomorrow. I need something to help pass the time on the cardio machines. I get really bored. I'll be shocked if I do it without another house call from good old Jen. She even hooked up Mike's X-em radio whatcha-call-it that he won at market. She is amazing. Looking forward to another week. Lots to do.

Back from Pittsburgh with my daughter. It was a very successful trip to IKEA. We returned with a new crib, changing table and comfy chair for mommy for feeding time. We had a really good time but I really need to confess something. I probably ate more crap than I have eaten in a long time. I really don't want to list everything because it was really bad. Just leave it that I didn't stick with the soup and salad at Olive Garden and I really, really love gourmet malted milk balls. Unfortunately, that was just the tip of the iceberg. But confession is good for the soul and the gym is good for the body, soooo off I go to put two days in Pittsburgh behind me. Mike is coming home today hopefully. I'm really glad!! And thanks Kerri for a fun time. If Eric asks me about your food choices I've got your back. Never fear. That's what Mom's are for.

I heard this song for the first time yesterday and it blew me away. I think we have all been here at one time or another. I've been praying for some people that are living this today. I just wanted to share these words

I was sure by now that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say "Amen" and it's still raining.

As the thunder rolls I barely hear you whisper through the rain - "I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You arae who You are no matter where I am.
Every tear I've cried, You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry, You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone, How can I carry on
If I can't find You?

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth.

I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
Every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I thank God for His faithfulness even when we can't see His hand.

It is Sunday morning and I am praising God this morning. Mike and Mikey just left for a furniture market and as Mike was sharing his feelings about going to beautiful downtown Tupelo Mississippi, Mike quietly said, "I'm glad to be going to Tupelo, a year ago I was in jail and couldn't go anywhere." I tend to get lonely and feel sorry for myself when they are gone, but this trip I am so thankful that I have a son that is alive and on his way to market to work with his Dad. And I have a husband that is happy with his work and is sharing that with his son. So I will go to church this morning with a grateful heart.

I had a great Valentine Day. I spent part of the day with my two littlest valentines and of course my best friend - their Mommy. I was on my way home from dinner with my gorgeous husband and I was reminded of a love song that has always brought out feelings not so much for my husband but for the little boys in my life. Until you are a Nana, it is impossible to know what that kind of love feels like. This song tries to put it into words for me. So this is for Riley and Trey.

Have you ever been in love

You could touch the moonlight
When your heart is shooting stars
You're holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been so in love

Have you ever walked on air
Ever felt like you were dreaming
When you never thought it could
But it really feels that good
Have you ever been so in love

Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your heart is shooting stars
You're holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been in love

The time I spent waiting for something
That was heaven sent
When you find it don't let go
I know...

Some place that you ain't leaving
Somewhere your gonna stay
When you finally found the meaning
Have you ever felt this way

The time I spent waiting for something
That was heaven sent
When you find it don't let go
I know...

Cause have you ever been in love
So in love
You could touch the moonlight
You can even reach the stars
Doesn't matter near or far
Have you ever been so in love

I've been blessed with far more love than I deserve.

Some say love, it is a river,
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor,
That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love, it is a hunger,
An endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
And you, it's only seed.

It's the heart, afraid of breaking,
That never learns to dance.
It's the dream, afraid of waking,
That never takes the chance.

It's the one, who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dying,
That never learns to live.

When the night, has been too lonely,
And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only,
For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember, in the winter,
Far beneath the bitter snows,
Lies the seed, that with the suns love,
In the spring, becomes the rose.

Happy Valentine's Day

Another week-end comes to a close. It was good. We had our boys all to ourselves Friday night and Saturday. Took them to see Curious George. They are so much fun. Trey just kept grinning at me through the whole movie as if to say, "Thanks for bringing me Nana". It doesn't get much better than when your 4 yr. old lays next to you in bed and squeezes your hand three times and says, "That means I love you Nana." Be still my heart. What did I do to deserve this?
Then to top off the week-end the Bucks won another big game.
Here's to another good week.

Well, it's another boy!! He's healthy and if he is half as cute as the two we have, we just can't go wrong!! I'm just glad to finally know. It's hard for me to feel like it's real til I know what it is. I just can't wait to get my hands on him.

Good things about this week-end:
Snow
My husband was home
Ohio State Basketball game (We won!!)
Sunday lunch with the Stetlers
Super Bowl game with Mikey
Relaxation

Bad things about this week-end:
Not enough snow
My poor husband had jet lag
Kerri didn't feel well
Too short

Happy Monday!! Here's to a good week. We will find out what Kerri is having tomorrow if the little one cooperates. Plans will start for my new sun room and deck this week. The boys will spend the night with us Friday. Can't complain. Life is good.

My husband is out of town and I just got back from an unbelievable date with a very handsome younger man. He's a big OSU basketball fan so we have a lot in common. I hope to see more of him. He thinks I'm wonderful and the feeling is mutual. We watched the Bucks win big over dippin' dots and hot dogs. Boy did we have a good time!! Tonight there was no where else I would have rather have been and no one else I would have rather spent my evening with. He made me buy but I really didn't care. The only problem was he fell asleep on the way home. What a great date!! I love you Riley!!

As I promised here is short round one in his OSU jersey. Unfortunately Riley was not in the mood to have his picture taken. Maybe later. It is half time and we're not looking too good. As this was being taken he was yelling"go bucks!!" I'm sure they will pull this one out.
Thanks to Jen for showing me how to post this picture but the true test will be remembering for the next time. She does it so fast I can't really keep up with her.We had a good time tonight, just ate too much.

Well the week-end is almost here. I had a good day with Kerri and the boys yesterday. Thank goodness for mall playgrounds during the winter!! They really have fun at the Polaris one. The place is always packed but it is amazing how few kids get hurt. I found them Ohio State basketball jerseys. I can't wait to see them on. We are having a "family night" tomorrow and maybe Jen can show me how to post pictures on my blog. Riley gets to stay up late to watch the game. Monday night someone will be taking him to the Schott to see the game. It will be good to get together and just hang out. Trey says he wants to play hide-n-go-seek with Mikey and I'm sure there will be several games of Pigs played. How can such a stupid game be so addicting? Pizza, munchies, games and OSU - sounds like fun to me.

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

When you're lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, your just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who struggles with being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight.

It seems like I know so many people living in these words. I guess we've all been there

OSU basketball and American Idol!! I think I can make it through this weird winter. Actually time is moving too fast. Really wish it would slow down. My little ones are coming over tomorrow. Maybe it will be warm enough to get "the car" out for them. Have I said lately how much I LOVE those boys??!! I gave my OSU ticket for tonight to the Stetler family and Kerri showed us how much she takes after her Dad and not her selfless mother. She gave it to Eric and then took it back. She's cold!! I really needed to watch this game somewhere where I could pace. Have fun with your Dad Kerri!! I love you too.

I've been thinking alot about how this year has started. Strange, very strange. I've also been thinking about my plans for the year; a trip to Florida, maybe re-uniting some old friends at one of our old get-aways, meeting my sister somewhere for some time with her alone, market, a new grand-baby, our trip to the beach. And then there's the dreams and goals for all the people I love. However the beginning of this new year has reminded me that we're not in control and we really don't know what tomorrow or the next day or the next might bring. God knows what 2006 holds. And while sometimes I wish I knew the future, I know it's best I don't. I do know that God wants what is best for me and all of us. That's what I want too.

I hugged and kissed my boys tonight and said "good-bye" to Luis. He's resting in peace.

My sister sent me this prayer today. I will read it often.

"I stand between the years. The Light of My Presence is flung across the year to come-
the radiace of the Sun of Righteousness.
Backward over the past year is My Shadow thrown, hiding trouble and sorrow and
disappointment.
Dwell not on the past - only on the pressent... Bury every fear of the future...
of suffering, of loss.
Bury all thought of unkindness and bitterness, all your dislikes, your resentments,
your ssense of failure, your disappointments in others and in yourself...
leave them all and go forward to a new and risen life.
Remember you must not see as the world sees. I hold the year in My Hands - in trust for YOU.
But I will guide you one day at a time. Leave the rest with Me.
You must not anticipate the gift by fears or thoughts of the days ahead.
And for each day I shall supply the wisdom and the strength."

Thanks Libby.

Some things just don't make any sense. How can a little boy wake up one day with an earache, have seizures the next and the next be brain dead? How are Kerri and Eric going to explain this to Riley? Luis was so full of life. He sometimes had more energy than we wanted him to have. He called me Nana as if it was my first name. I remember the door opening Christmas Eve and in walked Luis with a little basket with Christmas candy for the Stetlers. I remember thinking what a fine young boy he was becoming. He was thriving in school. Why? How do parents and siblings survive this? What can Eric possibly do or say at that little boys bedside? We take life so for granted. I'm really sad and I guess having answers wouldn't make that any different. May God minister to that family tonight.