December 29th, 2010. I turn 58. Amazing. Amazing that I'm 58, it's hard to wrap my brain around that. Amazing that I have been blessed with far more than I deserve. An amazing husband that makes me laugh and always has my back. An amazing daughter that has such a huge part of my heart and blesses me with a smile that lights up my life. An amazing son that has the art of making me laugh just seeing him walk into a room. Two children that I could not be more proud of and all the while they literally make life worth living. You really don't want me to start talking about the grandchildren. Just suffice it to say that I really don't need Christmas or birthday presents... I have 5 that make any gift look trivial. I am still blessed with a mother that has loved me unconditionally all my life. I can't forget my sister who becomes dearer to me with each passing year. A son-in-law and daughter-in-law that love my children and are sharing life with them in a beautiful way. Yes, I am amazingly blessed far beyond what I deserve.

I have a very special song that reminds me of my grandkids everytime I hear it. It's called "You Make Me Smile". The highlight of my Christmas was watching the boys as I played each of them their own DVD made up of pictures that I have taken through the years. Thanks to my friend Jen for doing all the techy stuff I could have never done. I will have pictures playing in my mind of each of them for the rest of my life. Hopefully this is something they can carry with them as they grow to remind them of how much they made me smile. Yes, we had another beautiful Christmas and I'm looking forward to another wonderful year with the unbelievable family that has so blessed my life. Happy New Year.

Another Christmas, it's hard to believe. Seems as if we just began 2010 and it's almost gone. I love to watch the movie Christmas Vacation. I always relate to the father who has such high expectations of Christmas. I always want it to be perfect and while it never is, I can't remember a Christmas in my life that wasn't beautiful. I have such wonderful memories of each chapter of my life. My Dad loved Christmas probably as much as I do. He was always sad when it was over. I've had times of let-down and even dread as I enter a new year. Not sure why, just a melancholy feeling here and there. But as I get older, I look forward to each new year, even each new day. I am such a blessed person, and there is so much to look forward to no matter what 2011 brings.

December 16th, the birthday of Trey Ryan Stetler. Absolutely one of God's most precious creations. This child is so smart it's scary and at the same time so full of love and compassion, there are times he doesn't know what to do with everything he is feeling. A beautifully sensitive little boy whose eyes see and understand more than most his age. No matter how old he is, his Nana will always remember him like this.

I love reading my daughter's blog right now. They have moved to the country on 9 acres of mostly wooded land. They are blissfully happy and so enjoying the new environment. I am adjusting to the fact that they are an hour away. I love the drive getting there. It is so scenic and quiet. It's actually a nice little getaway for me. And now, they are just far enough away that they often stay a night or two. LOVE IT!! In fact they will be coming for Trey's birthday party this week-end, AND....spending the night. That reminds me, I better get the flannel snowman sheets on their bed.

What a wonderful Thanksgiving. For the first time in awhile, Kerri, Eric and the kids came and stayed a couple nights. It was packed full of fun, food and shopping. I love my house, it's nicely decorated, very traditional, nothing fancy. But what I love the most is when the family comes and we really live in it. It doesn't bother me that the pink rocking horse in the nursery mysteriously became adorned with too of my very nice pieces of jewelry or that I'm quite sure I will be digging crayons and m&m's from under my furniture for some time to come. And of course I will need to meet Kerri to give her the bag of personal items her husband left in the bathroom. (They always think they have everything!) Mike and Nicole and Austin came to help us celebrate and Mom and Jen rounded out the table. Nothing like tables overflowing with food and people you love to share it with. We took Cora Jean on her first Black Friday shopping trip and of course she LOVES shopping. She seems to love being on the go and being around people. Wonder where she gets that from? The boys got new shoes from Paps and we rounded it off with an OSU basketball win. Today consists of relaxing, cleaning and putting up the tree!!! Merry Christmas!!

I took my second water aerobics class for arthritis today. We were in one corner of the pool, a small group of women of which I was probably the youngest. We were trying to use the water to increase our flexibility. Some were cold and some really didn't want to be there. Behind us was a group consisting of mostly mommies, one daddy and their little ones. They were walking around in circles, tossing the little ones in the air and delighting in their giggles. They were using the water to make memories. Seems only yesterday I was at that stage of life. On the far side of the pool was a group of muscular twenty-somethings training together as a swim team. I just found it all very interesting - chapters of life.

Where did this week go? Oh, I remember, the hospital with Mom. Quite a week. It seems Mom had an infection that as she would say, "laid her low". She's home now and she will have some extra help for awhile. I sometimes think my mom hears me "preaching " at her so often, she turns me off. Someone else giving her some advice and guidelines will help us both.

Today is the first OSU basketball game. Excited to see the new freshmen and always enjoy spending the time with my husband. Then we'll see what the new week will bring. You just never know.

My daughter has given me three unbelievable little boys and my son added another one to the mix. I have been very happy buying spiderman and star wars figures and dressing them in outfits that make them look like mini duplicates of their fathers. I have often pinched myself because they have given me so much joy. Then..... God chose to bless us with the most adorable, angel-faced little God you have ever seen. I really think sometimes I have more than I deserve in these wonderful children. I love you Cora Jean.

Well, it happened. That horrible thing that ruins everybody's week-end and makes Monday morning even worse. Yes, it happened, Ohio State lost. I chuckle everytime this happens anymore, because I remember a season a few years ago when we followed the Buckeyes from a hospital room. We were counting our blessings that our son was still with us, and hoping he would be able to live a somewhat normal life after a terrible car accident. My husband was sitting by his bed reading the editorials and came across one that referred to a recent loss as if it was the end of his world. My husband replied to that letter and his was also published in the paper. When things like that happen, your world is turned upside down and when you come out of it, you realize you look at things from a completely different perspective. You are never the same. So... the Buckeyes lost, I went to bed and had a peaceful night sleep and the sun woke me up this morning and all is o.k. My kids and grandkids are happy and healthy, and life continues. I think I have figured out what is really important.

I leave tomorrow for a week-end in my favorite place - Nashville Indiana. Kerri and I are taking little Cora. I'm so excited. This has become such a special place, so many memories. This week-end will be a brand new one as I have a granddaughter to take. I'm sure it will be only the first of many such trips. I'm sure we will do a lot of the same things (my daughter and I love traditions) such as lunching at the Hob Nob, cherry and strawberry flavored cokes and searching for some fun things to take home to fill our homes with memories from a very special place. What a wonderful gift God gives us - our ability to make memories.

Then towards the end of October, we will be going to another beautiful place with special friends. I was determined to get my husband someplace relaxing after fall market, a little down time to relieve the stress. We will be spending a few days in Pinehurst, a beautiful golfing community. My favorite time to play golf is fall and doing it with friends that mean so much makes it even better.

We will be spending New Years in Oklahoma visiting my sister and her family. It's always nice to have be able to look forward to special times with family and friends. And of course the best time of the year is coming up, another holiday season. It rolls around so quickly.

Looking forward to a wonderful week-end. It's finally fall in Columbus...I love it. I took an OSU dress up to Cora yesterday and we found her a headband to match. Watch a little football today and then maybe shop for carpet for the house on Dunbarton. Church and golf with friends tomorrow, a little slower pace than last week-end. It was so good to see my sister, I really miss her. We planned a visit to OKC in December. Life is good. I have several photo projects I need to jump on before time gets away from me. I really need to work on my motivation.

Home from Puerto Rico. Very relaxing and so good to have time to spend with my husband. Also quite an experience to sit by a pool and hear God's voice so clearly, it brings you to tears. Luckily the pool was very empty and nobody noticed. They were good tears, healthy tears, growing tears, listening to my Father speak to me of things I needed to hear.

Now it's time to get ready for fall. My sister and my aunt nd cousin are coming this week-end. I have a couple days to get ready and I'm trying to get the fog out of my head from a late night flight home. It should be a wonderful week-end.

I had a good week. God is teaching me a lot right now. Slowing down, appreciating everything the moment is bringing me, and holding loosely to this world. I think I was beginning to get so caught up with the things God blesses me with, I was losing sight of the things He has in store for me. It's very tricky to live each day to the fullest, and count your blessings and not forget that this is just the journey, not the destination.

Looking forward to worship today, and then spending time with my husband. Then another week, hopefully getting some picture projects done. Looks like it's going to be beautiful weather.

Yesterday my daughter celebrated her 12th year of marriage. It's wonderful to see your daughter so happy in a healthy relationship. I will continue to pray for them as I see how living in today's world can take a toll on even the best of relationships. The past year brought about a lot of changes thank goodness, all of them have been good. Maybe this next year can be a little more quiet but just as happy. Happy Anniversary Kerri and Eric.

And today is my first grandsons's 9th birthday. I keep telling him I am going to put a brick on his head to keep him from growing. If only it was that easy to make time stand still. He is such a great kid. He loves to read, play basketball and come to Nana's house. I hope that never changes. Full of energy, we can't seem to fill him up. He loves life, may that also stay the same. Happy Birthday Riley.

Just returned from another week-end in Nashville Indiana. I really can't put my finger on why I love it there so much, but my husband feels the same way. I drive into the little town and I immediately have a smile on my face. It's a slow paced, gentle place. People seem to leave their cares at the city limits sign. We have a lot of memories as we have celebrated a family Thanksgiving in the hills of this town, and even brought our children here for vacations in a little cabin down the road in a place called "Bean Blossom". Mike and I drove out to the cabin and someone has moved in permanently and it is quite a showplace. One of my favorite pictures of my two children and Mike, hangs in my bedroom reminding me of a day at the state park I will never forget, picnicking, playing cards and hiking on the trails. I remember none of us wanted that day to end. I re-lived that day many times, drawing from the feelings it brought as we faced tough times a few years later. Memories, one of the most precious things God gives us.

Today turned out to be a good day. (most are) I haven't been feeling like myself lately but at one point today I realized I was feeling better. The little aches and pains of fibro had been worse and I was finding myself uptight and unable to relax. We had some great rain today, I fixed some half-runner beans with tomatoes and onions. Tasted great. Starting to look for a house for next year's vacation. Austin came over for a little while and ate dinner with us. Yes, a good day. I wanted to get to my scrapbooking but that didn't happen. Maybe tomorrow. We'll be heading to Nashville Indiana friday. Yea!!!!!!!!!!!! That will solve everything! Ha!

Another wonderful 2 weeks at the beach is over. We had such a good time. There were times I had to pinch myself as I looked around at my family and the beautiful place we were spending time together. Cora is amazing. Kerri's three boys were all good babies, but honestly, Cora puts them to shame. She has a ready smile that lights up the room not to mention your world. We were in Topsail last year when we found out that she would be joining our family. We were all a little in shock, well o.k.... a lot in shock. God blessed us beyond measure. Riley, Trey, Evan and Austin had so much fun together. It is fun to watch them sharing life together as brothers and cousins. I just hope my husband can relax a little more next year. The job is becoming a little stressful, we'll see what this year brings to that situation.

I had Riley and Trey for a few days so they could finish the school year. What great kids!! They were so much fun. Yesterday we went to Target and we found a new Legos movie, some walkie-talkies for their new adventures outside and of course dinner at Chick-fil-A and dessert at Sonic. If those kids told me thanks for everything once, they told me twenty times. They are such good boys. this morning when they got up, I reminded them it was their last day of schoo. Of course they were thrilled at that thought and then Trey looked at me and said, "there's just one bad thing. we won't be seeing you tonight". OMG, yea, I melted in a pool on the floor! I am so happy that these kids are getting ready to have the kind of summer every kid should have - playing in the great outdoors. I almost feel like a kid again.

My emotions seem to be right up on the surface today. Not sure what is going on. The feelings are all mixed up but primarily good. The tree my dad and Ralph planted for me is sick but they have promised me it won't be fatal. I love that tree, I really enjoy watching it. It makes me feel like all is right with the world. It reminds me of the people in my life that helped me get grounded. I've been thinking a lot about the people that I miss and about the people that are still here filling up my life and making it so rich. Love to you all.

I can't believe it but we are counting down and there are only 18 days til vacation. What happened to the year? It can't possibly be time for another 2 weeks at the beach. But.... here we are. Two weeks of surf and sand, fudge, sea gulls and crabs, fudge, beautiful sunrises and the sounds of the ocean, and fudge. Oh my, sounds like heaven to me. I can't wait.

Two weeks of jury duty over. I'm glad for that but also glad I had the experience. It wasn't easy. I was on a difficult case with nothing but circumstantial evidence. I wasn't able to do what I really wanted to do. I learned a lot about the justice system, about how some people live and make choices and about myself. It's not a perfect system but I am glad we live in a country that believes in not guilty til so proven. Unfortunately, it sometimes CAN'T be proven.

Mother's Day 2010....another blessed day. Kerri visited Eric's mom this year so it was just Mike, Nicole, Austin, Mom and Mike. We had a nice lunch at the countryclub. Austin made us laugh and once again, I was in awe of how lucky I am to be so loved. My son gave me a card that is hard for me to believe it wasn't written especially for me. I really want to share it. Those of you who are familiar with our history will see how special this card really was.

From your Son... When I think about all the times I made you worry, it makes me appreciate how well you handled the challenging job of being my mom. The good news is, those days are behind us now, and we both made it through. And you know what? You did good. Really good. Happy Mother's Day.

Oh, he was a challenge. But I wouldn't trade him for any other son on the face of the earth. He has grown into a very good man. Thanks for being my son Mikey.

Trying to bring some sort of closure to the way Kerri's adoption journey has ended. I gave my heart away to this little girl a long time ago and she will ALWAYS have it. I worked on something today to help me remember and at the same time move on. I framed her beautiful picture with some scripture and it will be placed in a place that I will see often. I just hope she feels the prayers from some people in the USA that have been and will always be prayed for her.

It's been such a long journey and this is not the ending we were hoping for. But our little Nana will not be coming home. Pray for this child. May God keep her in His love and may she grow strong and always know there are people far, far away that love her very much.

I love walking around my house after the kids have been here. Kerri and Cora and the boys spent the week-end and the typical signs are everywhere... a drawing with "to nana from trey" scrawled on top, catalogs with dog-eared pages to mark the spot (things they must have) and pieces of toys found everywhere for days. I LOVE it. I wouldn't want it any other way. I smile everytime I find a marker or a candy wrapper and that usually happens for several days. I hope their memories are as wonderful as mine.

I was just reading my daughter's blog about delivering our beautiful little Cora Jean. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that God is really in control. We make plans and think we know what will be. Nobody expected to hear the words "I'm pregnant" from my daughter again. They had other plans. But so did God. She is beautifully perfect and I already find myself thinking how empty our family would seem without her. Kerri and Eric had plans for a little girl to enter their family. None of us really know where those plans are right now, only God knows. But for now, I am so happy that God had Cora in mind and I can't wait to get to know her. God has blessed our family... once again.

A song I really love by Elton John says, "all life is precious and every day's a prize". Days can certainly bring "sur"-prises too, some good, some not so much. At least it may not seem so good on the surface. But I choose to believe that even what may start as troublesome, can really turn out for good. I really want to take hold of everyday and squeeze it and learn from it and move on from it. As I get older, I find I'm not wanting to move on so quickly and I would even like to stand still from time to time. But that's not possible and so I just hope I can move on for a long time to come. (LOL=facebook speak, meaning laugh out loud!) So here are some pics that remind me that Elton just might be right.

Easter week. What a wonderful time for the Christian to celebrate. My pastor reminded me that EVERYTHING changed with the events that we call Easter. From that point on, nothing was ever the same. I'm thanking God for the cross, the grave and the power of His resurrection this week.

He became sin, who knew no sin,
That we might become His righteousness.
He humbled Himself and carried the cross...
Love so amazing, love so amazing....

Jesus Messiah, name above all names,
Blessed Redeemer, Emmanuel.
The rescue for sinners
The ransom from heaven
Jesus Messiah, Lord of all.

His body the bread, His blood the wine,
Broken and poured out all for love.
The whole earth trembled and the veil was torn.....

Love so amazing, love so amazing!

I like these words I found this morning.

Celebrate the temporary
Don't wait until tomorrow - Live today
Celebrate the simple things
Enjoy the butterfly
Embrace the snow
Run with the ocean
Delight in the trees or a single lonely flower
Go barefoot in the wet grass

Don't wait until all the problems are solved
or all the bills are paid - you will wait forever.
Eternity will come and go and you
will still be waiting

Live in the now
with all its problems and its agonies,
with its joy and its pain

Celebrate your pain, your despair, your anger
It means you're alive
Look closer, breathe deeper, stand taller,
stop grieving the past

There is joy and beauty
Today

It is temporary, here now and gone

so celebrate it while you can
Celebrate the temporary

-From Celebrate the Temporary by Clyde Reid

Had trouble getting to sleep last night. So many friends on my mind experiencing so much pain. So... I prayed. I finally dropped off to sleep and their faces were right there when I woke. Music helps more than anything. It expresses things I am incapable of expressing, it soothes my soul. I heard this one for today.

How many names an I use to explain the love of my Jesus, the life that He gave
And so many times will I praise You today, I lift up my life 'cause you're always the same
And my offering to You I bring

Your name is Jesus. Your name is Jesus.
You're the Wonderful, Counselor, my Friend.
You're what I hold on to; I know that You brought me through
All the days of loss, to the cross You knew... I'd need a Savior

How many songs can I sing to proclaim Your wondrous love and beauty so great?
What would I say if You brought down the rain and everyday I walk through the pain
My heart would still say...

You're what I hold on to; I know that you brought me through
All the days of loss, to the cross You knew... I'd need a Savior

Cora Jean Stetler finally entered the world on March 4th at 10:15 a.m. She is a beautiful bouncing baby girl weighing 8 lb. 8 oz and measuring 21 3/4" . Everything is perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes, and a combination of all her brothers giving her a face like no other. Sometimes I am totally overwhelmed with the thought of how blessed I am with these unbelievable grandchildren. I can't wait to get her started on this journey with all of us. God bless you Cora Jean. Nana loves you.

Life is so strange. I'm sitting here waiting for a little angel to enter this earth and I just found out the angels came and took a good friend from this us. Bittersweet, so much of life is bittersweet. We love you Marollyn, we will miss your smile. Enjoy what God has prepared for you. Welcome Cora Jean, we can't wait to see you, straight from heaven to bless us here on earth.

These words of a song we sang in church blew me away this morning. "You paint the morning sky with miracles in mind". I have no doubt that I approach too many days, not looking for God's miracles. The chorus says; "How deep, how wide, how great is Your love for me". Forgive me Lord, may I look to the sky to find your miracle in every day. May I never stop being amazed at the miracle of your love for me.

Well, back from a beautiful week in Puerto Rico. We had perfect weather, the only down-side was that Mike had to work. But I reminded him, if it wasn't for his job, we wouldn't even be there. I proved to myself that attitude is everything. I wasn't sure about so many days with nothing to do but sit by the pool but I chose to go with it, knowing life would get crazy with a new grandbaby and all. I was able to relax and relish every minute. I never wished the time away and when the time came to return, I was ready to see my home and family. I think I am finally learning how to live in the moment.

While I was gone, Trey showed us what he is made of and had some oral surgery. It sounds like he did great. I can't wait to see all the boys. Everyone will be over Sunday for a Valentine lunch.

This will sound really random but I haven't been able to blog for a while and this has been on my mind. The last OSU game I was at, honored the 1960 Championship team. I remember it like it was yesterday. They also unveiled a banner in the Schott, to honor the coach of that tem, Fred Taylor. I sat there and thought how important it is to send the roses while they are alive. This banner should have gone up a long, long time ago, he was a great coach and everyone knew he was an even better man.

I hope to do a better job at this as I go forward with my life. There are so many people around me that deserve to be thanked for the way they have touched my life.

Mike finally got home from another week away. However, he's been comatose most of the day. That's just what happens after a market. It's been a good week-end. Went to see both Trey and Riley play basketball. They are so much fun to watch. Kerri, Eric and the boys spent the rest of the day with me and watched OSU take a disappointing defeat. My mom joined us for the game. Unfortunately, Mom is not doing so well lately. I am hoping it is just some medication problems. I will be taking her for an MRI tomorrow. She has fought hard to win over her loneliness but I think she is just getting tired.

Not feeling the greatest tonight. Worried about my mom, took her to the doc today. They will run some tests. Quiet in the house tonight. Then I checked my e-mail and I got the best message in the world from my oldest grandson. It's so nice to be loved so unconditionally. Kids know how to do that so naturally. Friends over tomorrow night and dinner sometime with the Stetler kids this week. Mikey, Nicole and Austin were over for lunch yesterday and we played monopoly. Nothing beats just being together. I wouldn't trade those times for anything. Just a little melancholy but I often am this time of the year. I keep reminding myself it won't be TOO long til we'll be here:

I'm trying, I'm really trying. I just don't understand. Why is there a beautiful little girl in Liberia that is loved and wanted by a family here and it just doesn't seem to happen? Why are there two little boys in Haiti that were scheduled to come to a loving family next week, but instead they are enduring a massive earthquake and may not make it home. I look at pictures of these children and all I can do is cry and ask why. There are no answers, only questions. So I will pray and as I pray I am reminded that God has taken care of them to this point and He will not leave them. I pray for miracles, yes, I still believe in miracles.

So far so good. I've spent more time with God in the mornings. Don't know why I seem to wander from this practice. I always leave that meeting place more calm and focused for the day and realizing that He leaves that place with me. I find it easier to live one day at a time and I enjoy that day and get so much more accomplished. Somehow I don't even feel as tired at the end of it all. It's just good to know that we're friends.

Today is shopping and the OSU basketball game with my daughter. More snow tomorrow and that's fine with me. Just hope my sister can get in from OKC on Friday night. Sunday will be a fun day with a baby shower to get ready for our little Cora Jean. It's coming soon and I still am having trouble thinking pink. I've had a lot of blue years!! I spent some of yesterday checking out tutus online. Can you say Princess?!

It's mind-boggling. My husband and I were talking about all that has happened in the last decade, 10 short years and it's mind-boggling. I wasn't even a Nana when we rang in 2000. Wow, it's been quite a ride. Good and bad, but even out of the bad has come good. I owe that all to God. He is a master at that. I wouldn't want to be doing this life any other way than with God and the family and friends He has given me. I'm looking forward to this year. I'm sure not every day will be wonderful and free from stress. But I proved a LONG time ago, that with God I can get through anything and come out on the other side knowing He was with me the entire way. I hope and pray 2010 will find me to be a better follower of His. I'm sure He won't fail me, I certainly don't want to fail Him.