A wonderful Easter week-end! We celebrated Saturday with the family due to the fact that e.stetler had to work on Easter. Boo! But we had a great time. Then church with Mikey and Mike on Sunday followed by 18 holes of golf. It was supposed to rain but instead we enjoyed a gorgeous sunny day. Now begins the week before market. This market should be interesting as they all tend to be but all will be well. My husband just came home and announced that he had bought some new clothes for market. Well - I guess you know what I'll be doing tomorrow!!

Looking forward to a great Easter week-end. Seems like we just celebrated Christmas!! I had a date with another handsome guy yesterday. Yes, Trey and I went to Easton and enjoyed lunch at Max and Irmas and he made his build-a-bear. We made sure the bear was a different color than brother's . I am thanking God for an answer to prayer in our family. God doesn't always answer exactly the way we would think but it is always perfect. The future looks good with a new grandson and all kinds of things to look forward to. But I have learned that this "one day at a time" thing works pretty well for me. I have found some real peace living this way. I don't always accomplish it but most of the time I think I do o.k. I know I worry less than I ever have in my life. Maybe I'm just mellowing with my old age! Blessings to all on this Easter week-end.

Well, Riley put in a request for a date with Nana. I managed to clear my schedule to squeeze him in. (right!) We had such a fun day. Playing and lunch at McDonalds, watching the toy trains at Easton, visiting the Discovery Store, a quick "hello" to the Easter bunny and a walk through the Buckeye store. Then he took home a new friend from the Build-a-bear store with a spiderman costume just like his. I was wiped out at the end of this day but so much fun with my handsome little man. I'm sure a date with Trey will soon follow.

Well, this will be a first for me. I usually don't use this journal to rant but this morning I feel drawn to express myself. I just saw on T.V. a complete contradiction of who God is and what He is about. I was watching an interview with Rosie O'Donnell about her new documentary that is getting so much attention. She apparently invited gay families to take a cruise with her and her family. As they pulled out to sea there was a group of "christians" demonstrating against gay marriages. Screaming, pointing fingers, making their presence impossible to ignore. Then I listened to the rest of the interview. She talked very passionately about all the children in our foster system whose parents have terminally given up their rights to those children - 117,000 I believe was the number. She is full of compassion, just in my humble opinion wrong about her beliefs concerning sexuality. What makes me so emotional is that none of us are getting it right. I don't believe God is happy when we follow His laws but refuse to show His love in doing it. God help us all!!

They all walked away, with nothing to say,
They'd just lost their dearest friend.
All that He said, now He was dead,
So this was the way it would end.
The dreams they had dreamed were not what they'd seemed,
Now that He was dead and gone.
The garden the jail, the hammer, the nail,
How could a night be so long.

Then came the morning, night turned into day;
The stone was rolled away, hope rose with the dawn.
Then came the morning, shadows vanished before the sun,
Death had lost and life had won, for morning had come.

I am really glad to be starting a new week. Last week was not one I would like to re-live. Why is it that those seem to go on forever? Oh well, life goes on. I got back to the gym this morning and hopefully my normal flow will return. We got to spend some time with Riley, Trey and Kerri. That's always a good thing. I am giving a friends daughter a wedding shower Saturday. It should be fun. April is looking very hectic. I love Easter - everything new. Hope, that's what Easter gives us. Mark Palmer left some wonderful thoughts on hope; "Live your hope as if it is the one and only thing that sustains you in this ravaged world." I have learned that until we spend sometime in a place that makes us feel as if hope is all we have, we don't really understand how powerful hope can be. I'm looking forward to celebrating that hope in Jesus this Easter. Immediately after Easter we head for market I get back and leave for a visit with my sister. April will be gone before I know it.

Last night I had the privilege of feeding some hurting people. It seemed like such a small thing to do during a time of such grief. I mean bean salad!! Just wish I could have done more. Tonight I have my little ones so Kerri and Eric can be with their LP family during this time. As we were coming home from mac-n-cheese at Bob Evans, from the back I hear a stirring rendition of "God is Good" at the top of their lungs. Yea, it made me smile. So simple but so true - God IS good, ALL the time. Trying to answer 4 yr. old questions about death only makes me realize I don't have any answers. I don't understand it any better than he does. But I do know that because God is good, Mark is fine and the spring flowers will bloom and a baby will be born in June and Micah will grow and be strong. And when the next thing happens that we don't understand - God will still be good.

This prayer I pray for Amy, Micah, Mark's family, his LP family and all of us on this journey.

Almighty God, Lord of the storm and of the calm, of day and night, of life and death; grant to me so to have my heart stayed upon your faithfulness, your unchangingness and love, that whatsoever betides me, I may look upon You with untroubled eye. I ask it for thy mercy's sake Amen
George Dawson in Little Book of Prayers

I don't like myself very well right now. I let somebody down and I tried to fix it and there is nothing I can do. I'm sure there are a lot of lessons in this for me and I really hope I don't miss any of them. A new week. Hope I do better. Not much else to say.

Here I am
In a river of questions
Can I pour out my heart to a listening ear?
I see this life
It's valleys and mountains
And I think of all the roads that brought me here.

I've questioned my reasons
The life I'm living
I've questioned my ability
To judge wrong from right
I've questioned all the things that I've ever called certain
My race, my religion, my country, my mind!

But the one thing I don't question is You
You really love me like You say You do
You really love me like You say You do
Hold me
Hold me

I've questioned significance
Meaning and relevance
Does the work I'm doing really matter at all?
Well I've qustioned my friendships
Alliance, dependence
Who will still be here when I fall?

Only one thing doesn't change
Only one thing stays the same
All I know at the end of the day is Your love remains!!

Well, not the best week of my life but nothing I should complain too much about. It started out with my husband leaving for Fla. and for some reason I ended up at the doctor with a blood pressure count far too high. My fault - went off my meds. Then I picked up some kind of stomach flu I'm still wrestling with and finally got myself to the dentist after far too long. But today I spent time with some of my favorite people Riley, Trey and their Mommy. We went shopping for baby Evan, out to lunch and then I watched Monsters Inc. with my handsome four year old. Mike will be home tomorrow and I am really glad. Mikey and I will find a good place to watch OSU in the tournament. It will be a good day. I go to bed tonight praying for a lot of situations. On the top of my list is Mark and Amy and Micah. I have had times in my life that I could literally feel God's arms wrap around me. I pray that for them tonight. May God keep us all in His care.

Something isn't right with this picture. I'm ironing shorts and golf shirts for my husband to go on a golf trip. I am really jealous!! But I'm so glad he is able to go. He has worked so hard for so many years and finally he is being rewarded. I hope he has a great time. He leaves Saturday. I will just have to stay here and enjoy my wonderful kids and grandchildren. Gee, I have it rough don't I? Riley will be my date for the last OSU game Sunday. Everytime I talk to Trey on the phone he says, "Take me to the game Nana". I really wish I could. I hope we can get more seats next season. My wonderful son-in-law will be celebrating a birthday this week-end so I will treat him to dinner. Next week will be Jen's b-day - another celebration. Fun times!! Evan's big day will be here before we know it. I'm sure Kerri doesn't feel it is coming quick enough.

Another good week-end draws to a close. I enjoyed another OSU game with my husband. Boy that's fun. Especially when they win. GO BUCKS!!! Kerri, the boys, Jen, Mikey and Deanna spent the afternoon with us today. Mikey seems to be getting into the habit of Sunday being "Mom and Dad day". We had a relaxing time playing games, eating and just hanging out. Mom stopped by for a while too. Jen showed me how to buy songs to put on my IPOD I am going to treat myself to tomorrow. I need something to help pass the time on the cardio machines. I get really bored. I'll be shocked if I do it without another house call from good old Jen. She even hooked up Mike's X-em radio whatcha-call-it that he won at market. She is amazing. Looking forward to another week. Lots to do.

Back from Pittsburgh with my daughter. It was a very successful trip to IKEA. We returned with a new crib, changing table and comfy chair for mommy for feeding time. We had a really good time but I really need to confess something. I probably ate more crap than I have eaten in a long time. I really don't want to list everything because it was really bad. Just leave it that I didn't stick with the soup and salad at Olive Garden and I really, really love gourmet malted milk balls. Unfortunately, that was just the tip of the iceberg. But confession is good for the soul and the gym is good for the body, soooo off I go to put two days in Pittsburgh behind me. Mike is coming home today hopefully. I'm really glad!! And thanks Kerri for a fun time. If Eric asks me about your food choices I've got your back. Never fear. That's what Mom's are for.

I heard this song for the first time yesterday and it blew me away. I think we have all been here at one time or another. I've been praying for some people that are living this today. I just wanted to share these words

I was sure by now that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say "Amen" and it's still raining.

As the thunder rolls I barely hear you whisper through the rain - "I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You arae who You are no matter where I am.
Every tear I've cried, You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry, You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone, How can I carry on
If I can't find You?

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth.

I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
Every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I thank God for His faithfulness even when we can't see His hand.

It is Sunday morning and I am praising God this morning. Mike and Mikey just left for a furniture market and as Mike was sharing his feelings about going to beautiful downtown Tupelo Mississippi, Mike quietly said, "I'm glad to be going to Tupelo, a year ago I was in jail and couldn't go anywhere." I tend to get lonely and feel sorry for myself when they are gone, but this trip I am so thankful that I have a son that is alive and on his way to market to work with his Dad. And I have a husband that is happy with his work and is sharing that with his son. So I will go to church this morning with a grateful heart.

I had a great Valentine Day. I spent part of the day with my two littlest valentines and of course my best friend - their Mommy. I was on my way home from dinner with my gorgeous husband and I was reminded of a love song that has always brought out feelings not so much for my husband but for the little boys in my life. Until you are a Nana, it is impossible to know what that kind of love feels like. This song tries to put it into words for me. So this is for Riley and Trey.

Have you ever been in love

You could touch the moonlight
When your heart is shooting stars
You're holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been so in love

Have you ever walked on air
Ever felt like you were dreaming
When you never thought it could
But it really feels that good
Have you ever been so in love

Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your heart is shooting stars
You're holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been in love

The time I spent waiting for something
That was heaven sent
When you find it don't let go
I know...

Some place that you ain't leaving
Somewhere your gonna stay
When you finally found the meaning
Have you ever felt this way

The time I spent waiting for something
That was heaven sent
When you find it don't let go
I know...

Cause have you ever been in love
So in love
You could touch the moonlight
You can even reach the stars
Doesn't matter near or far
Have you ever been so in love

I've been blessed with far more love than I deserve.

Some say love, it is a river,
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor,
That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love, it is a hunger,
An endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
And you, it's only seed.

It's the heart, afraid of breaking,
That never learns to dance.
It's the dream, afraid of waking,
That never takes the chance.

It's the one, who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dying,
That never learns to live.

When the night, has been too lonely,
And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only,
For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember, in the winter,
Far beneath the bitter snows,
Lies the seed, that with the suns love,
In the spring, becomes the rose.

Happy Valentine's Day

Another week-end comes to a close. It was good. We had our boys all to ourselves Friday night and Saturday. Took them to see Curious George. They are so much fun. Trey just kept grinning at me through the whole movie as if to say, "Thanks for bringing me Nana". It doesn't get much better than when your 4 yr. old lays next to you in bed and squeezes your hand three times and says, "That means I love you Nana." Be still my heart. What did I do to deserve this?
Then to top off the week-end the Bucks won another big game.
Here's to another good week.

Well, it's another boy!! He's healthy and if he is half as cute as the two we have, we just can't go wrong!! I'm just glad to finally know. It's hard for me to feel like it's real til I know what it is. I just can't wait to get my hands on him.

Good things about this week-end:
Snow
My husband was home
Ohio State Basketball game (We won!!)
Sunday lunch with the Stetlers
Super Bowl game with Mikey
Relaxation

Bad things about this week-end:
Not enough snow
My poor husband had jet lag
Kerri didn't feel well
Too short

Happy Monday!! Here's to a good week. We will find out what Kerri is having tomorrow if the little one cooperates. Plans will start for my new sun room and deck this week. The boys will spend the night with us Friday. Can't complain. Life is good.

My husband is out of town and I just got back from an unbelievable date with a very handsome younger man. He's a big OSU basketball fan so we have a lot in common. I hope to see more of him. He thinks I'm wonderful and the feeling is mutual. We watched the Bucks win big over dippin' dots and hot dogs. Boy did we have a good time!! Tonight there was no where else I would have rather have been and no one else I would have rather spent my evening with. He made me buy but I really didn't care. The only problem was he fell asleep on the way home. What a great date!! I love you Riley!!

As I promised here is short round one in his OSU jersey. Unfortunately Riley was not in the mood to have his picture taken. Maybe later. It is half time and we're not looking too good. As this was being taken he was yelling"go bucks!!" I'm sure they will pull this one out.
Thanks to Jen for showing me how to post this picture but the true test will be remembering for the next time. She does it so fast I can't really keep up with her.We had a good time tonight, just ate too much.

Well the week-end is almost here. I had a good day with Kerri and the boys yesterday. Thank goodness for mall playgrounds during the winter!! They really have fun at the Polaris one. The place is always packed but it is amazing how few kids get hurt. I found them Ohio State basketball jerseys. I can't wait to see them on. We are having a "family night" tomorrow and maybe Jen can show me how to post pictures on my blog. Riley gets to stay up late to watch the game. Monday night someone will be taking him to the Schott to see the game. It will be good to get together and just hang out. Trey says he wants to play hide-n-go-seek with Mikey and I'm sure there will be several games of Pigs played. How can such a stupid game be so addicting? Pizza, munchies, games and OSU - sounds like fun to me.

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

When you're lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, your just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who struggles with being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight.

It seems like I know so many people living in these words. I guess we've all been there

OSU basketball and American Idol!! I think I can make it through this weird winter. Actually time is moving too fast. Really wish it would slow down. My little ones are coming over tomorrow. Maybe it will be warm enough to get "the car" out for them. Have I said lately how much I LOVE those boys??!! I gave my OSU ticket for tonight to the Stetler family and Kerri showed us how much she takes after her Dad and not her selfless mother. She gave it to Eric and then took it back. She's cold!! I really needed to watch this game somewhere where I could pace. Have fun with your Dad Kerri!! I love you too.

I've been thinking alot about how this year has started. Strange, very strange. I've also been thinking about my plans for the year; a trip to Florida, maybe re-uniting some old friends at one of our old get-aways, meeting my sister somewhere for some time with her alone, market, a new grand-baby, our trip to the beach. And then there's the dreams and goals for all the people I love. However the beginning of this new year has reminded me that we're not in control and we really don't know what tomorrow or the next day or the next might bring. God knows what 2006 holds. And while sometimes I wish I knew the future, I know it's best I don't. I do know that God wants what is best for me and all of us. That's what I want too.

I hugged and kissed my boys tonight and said "good-bye" to Luis. He's resting in peace.

My sister sent me this prayer today. I will read it often.

"I stand between the years. The Light of My Presence is flung across the year to come-
the radiace of the Sun of Righteousness.
Backward over the past year is My Shadow thrown, hiding trouble and sorrow and
disappointment.
Dwell not on the past - only on the pressent... Bury every fear of the future...
of suffering, of loss.
Bury all thought of unkindness and bitterness, all your dislikes, your resentments,
your ssense of failure, your disappointments in others and in yourself...
leave them all and go forward to a new and risen life.
Remember you must not see as the world sees. I hold the year in My Hands - in trust for YOU.
But I will guide you one day at a time. Leave the rest with Me.
You must not anticipate the gift by fears or thoughts of the days ahead.
And for each day I shall supply the wisdom and the strength."

Thanks Libby.

Some things just don't make any sense. How can a little boy wake up one day with an earache, have seizures the next and the next be brain dead? How are Kerri and Eric going to explain this to Riley? Luis was so full of life. He sometimes had more energy than we wanted him to have. He called me Nana as if it was my first name. I remember the door opening Christmas Eve and in walked Luis with a little basket with Christmas candy for the Stetlers. I remember thinking what a fine young boy he was becoming. He was thriving in school. Why? How do parents and siblings survive this? What can Eric possibly do or say at that little boys bedside? We take life so for granted. I'm really sad and I guess having answers wouldn't make that any different. May God minister to that family tonight.

What a great birthday!! Thanks to my mom, dad, Mike and Mikey, Kerri, Eric, the cutest little boys in the world and of course the ever popular Jen Leonard - I had a stupendous birthday celebration. I love you all!!

We had a beautiful Christmas day and I hate to admit it but I (and even my husband) slipped into some kind of funk and we have been fighting it for several days. I think we are finally getting on top of it but it is hard when you aren't quite sure what caused it. This is a true confession as I am very ashamed I allowed this to happen. This season of the year is so beautiful and God's blessings on our lives have been just as beautiful. Oh well, beating myself up won't help either. Speaking of God's blessings, He is able to grant us His grace even in the midst of a funk. Ironically, I think this state I have been in is somewhat related to the amount of time I have practiced His presence in my life lately. So tonight I am thankful for the way He loves us all the time no matter what no questions asked, no strings attached.

Well, hopefully we are all on the mend. I came down with a stomach bug and it put a damper on me celebrating little man's birthday but nevertheless, he is now two. It was a great celebration full of Thomas stuff everywhere you looked. Mike and I went on a shopping marathon yesterday and I am almost done. I waited too long for one item and I can't find it now. If anybody knows where I can get the new George Foreman grill with the interchangeable grills let me know. It's all wrapped and I can concentrate on menus now. Have you ever noticed how we all ask each other if we are "ready" for Christmas. Ready or not, here IT comes. That's the wonderful thing about it. Christmas, the real spirit of Christmas always comes, right on time whether all the presents are purchased or not. I love the Christmas Carol "The Little Drummer Boy". I love the line at the end; "then He smiled at me". Sometimes I wonder why He keeps smiling at us with all the crap we bring. Merry Christmas!!

I watched my very special grandson in his Christmas pre-school program tonight. So cute!! Friday we will celebrate my other special grandson on turning "2". Gifts from God. Thanks God. And we will have another gift for next Christmas. I'm really enjoying the season. It will be over far too soon for me. Can you tell I REALLY like this time of the year?!!
I have a friend whose life is a mess. Prayers for her tonight.

Another blessed week-end. We had some dear friends over last night and Kerri and the boys spent the night with us. I love being able to have extra time (not just on Christmas day) to spend in my house with the boys enjoying the decorations and expectation of Christmas. Mikey came over and watched the Bengals win with his dad. It was just a nice week-end. Hopefully Mike is on the mend and he will feel better tomorrow. He really likes the way the muscle relaxers help him sleep. Ha! I really hope some of the pain has subsided by tomorrow. Another week. They just keep flying by. Looks like some more snow. My prayer tonight is that I will never take a day for granted. I am so blessed and I hope I can pass some of my blessings on to someone this week. Good Night!

I watched the boys today while Kerri and my mom went shopping. What a fun time!! I finally got to see Polar Express. What a great movie. I had purchased some beautiful authentic sleigh bells this year and they are on my front doorknob. No matter how old I get I hope I can always hear the sleigh bells. I highly recommend Polar Express especially if you don't believe.

Well, Christmas is closing in on us. We are all either trying to get over illness or trying not to get it. Whatever is out there sure does want to hang around for a while once it hits. I'm still working out 4 to 5 times a day and meeting with my personal trainer. I am slowly seeing some results. I know I am doing something good for myself and probably even adding on some years and that's a good thing. We have decided to go back to our home church. We just want to worship with our friends (actually they're like family) again. Sunday was our first time and it felt pretty good. Think I'll pass on another song for Christmas. It is Mary's song but I think we all have had these feelings sometime on our journey.

I have traveled many moonless nights.
Cold and weary with a babe inside.
and I wonder what I've done.
Holy Father, You have come
Chosen me now to carry your son

I am waiting in a silent prayer.
I am frightened by the load I bear.
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone
Be with me now, be with me now.

Do you wonder as you watch my face,
If a wiser one, should have had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan.
Help me be strong
Help me be
Help me

Breath of Heaven hold me together be forever near me
Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven light in my darkness
Pour over me your holyness
For you are holy
Breath of Heaven

Reading from one of my very favorite books today; "Disciplines for the Inner Life":

"Freedom from anxiety is characterized by three inner attitudes. If what we have we receive as a gift, and if what we have is to be cared for by God, and if what we have is available to others, then we will possess freedom from anxiety. 'This is the inward realit of simplicity.'
...To receive what we have as a gift from God is the first inner attitude of simplicity. We work but we know that it is not our work that gives us what we have. We live by grace even when it comes to daily bread...What we have is not the result of our labor, but of the gracious care of God. When we are tempted to think that what we own is the result of our personal efforts, it takes only a little drought or a small accident to show us once again how radically dependent we are for everything.
To know that it is God's business and not ours to care for what we have is the second inner attitude of simplicity. God is able to protect what we possess We can trust Him... Simplicity means the freedom to trust God for these and all things.
To have our goods available to others marks the third inner attitude of simplicity. Martin Luther said somewhere, 'If our goods are not available to the community they are stolen goods.' The reason we find these words so difficult is our fear of the future...But if we truly believe that God is who Jesus said He is, then we do not need to be afraid." Richard J. Foster

I love this song -
Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices.
O night divine, O night when Christ was born.

I love this time of year. I don't want to miss it. I want Christmas to change me this year.

Well, it seems as if the pre-winter funk has visited our family. Mike has pains(or he is a pain - I can never keep that straight), Mikey has the crud, Trey has the pukes and I'm in a funk. Don't know for sure what my problem is. Maybe I just don't like everybody being sick. Sure hope this all passes soon. We have too much celebrating to do this month to be sick. "Short-round- one" will be turning 2. I can't believe it, it seems he was just blessing us with his arrival a short while ago and now we are waiting on a new one. I will try to motivate myself to pack up some Christmas decorations I have been hanging on to and drop them at Goodwill. I just have too much stuff. Putting up my fresh greenery will be the final touch today. We found a beautiful tree at Straders. The fragrance is inbelievable. I recommend it if you are looking for a real tree, probably the nicest trees I have seen for a while. Hope everyone is beginning to feel festive, it is coming quickly.

We all need a soft place to fall.

There's snow on the ground!!!! SNOW!! Call me crazy(I've been called worse) but I love snow. I got so excited I was dancing to Bruce Springsteen's "Merry Christmas Baby" in my family room. Yea, I know you're all saying you wish you could have seen that!

O.K. my daughter is calling me a blog slacker and I can't let that happen. Truth is my life has been so boring I've had little to blog about - and I love it. I started going to a gym and I am even using a personal trainer. I love it. I wish I had done this years ago. I was always so out of it when it came to physical things when I was young. My sister and I used to joke that we were the grace sisters. It's funny how you get a picture of yourself and carry that around for years. I just never thought I had the stamina to really work out. My trainer says I am doing great and I can't tell you how good it has made me feel, not just physically but in every way. It might sound silly and it is hard for me to explain but it is really changing me. I don't know, I'm just really glad I started. My house is pretty much ready for Christmas and I'm looking forward to a great week-end. We are taking the boys to the zoo tomorrow evening to see the Christmas lights. Kerri, Jen and the boys will stay overnight Friday. Saturday morning we will go to my Mom's to help her decorate and then the BIG GAME!!! GO BUCKS!!! Then we will prepare for Thanksgiving. This week I have been totally overwhelmed by God's blessings. I love how He takes care of us. He is far too good to us.

Not feeling the greatest today but I've been thinking about something I read on a wall hanging this week-end. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the number of moments that take our breath away." I really like that.

O.K. I'm tired. I went to Waynesville all day yesterday with my good friend Pam and did some fun shopping. We laughed and shopped til we dropped. Today Mike and I tried to conquor some major clean-up projects that just had to get done. In a few minutes I'll head down to put the boys to bed so Eric and Kerri can help Amy and Mark celebrate. I'm looking forward to church tomorrow, it's been too long. Then our first OSU basketball game. Big week-end. Monday I have my first appointment with my new personal trainer. I am going to get into shape and take off this excess bulk. I'm really looking forward to getting started. I get my new kitchen table Monday but Mike will be gone most of the week. If anyone wants to come put it up for me I would really appreciate it!! Ha!! I tried to bribe my son-in-law with dinner but he didn't take the bait. I'm really looking forward to the holidays. I will probably spend the week making new decorations and beginning to plan Thanksgiving dinner. I may even begin baking some cookies. Who knows.

Another good week-end. Walking through the leaves with Trey, watching Riley with his buddies at soccer. Mikey seems to be doing so well. But of course I live one day at a time and try to enjoy every minute. My mom is struggling with my dad and I really don't know the answer. Growing old is so hard it just doesn't seem like it should be this way. Watched another great Home Makeover story. So many hurting people in this world. Wish I could make more of a difference. I thank God for my blessings and pray I never, never take them for granted. Prayers for all my family tonight. I love them all.

Well they say that it's a fact, if you watch the sky at night
And if you stare into the darkness you might see celestial lights.
And if your heart is empty and there's no hope inside
There's a chance you'll find an answer in the sky.

Well they say that it's a shame if you have nothing to believe
And if you can't hold on to something you might as well die where you sleep.
You don't need a prayer and there's no price to ask why
Sometimes you'll find an answer in the sky.

And it's all so much bigger than it seems
And it overwhelms us now and then
And I'm banking on a chance that we believe
That good can still control the hearts of men.

This life's a long old road we shouldn't have to walk alone
But if you find the right companion you won't feel so worn out when you've grown

All life is precious and every day's a prize
And sometimes you'll find an answer in the sky.

Somehow I think the key word in all of this for me is "sometimes". I've learned that I don't always have all the answers in fact, there isn't always an answer to be found. That has to be o.k. sometimes.

I'm so glad to be home. I don't do well in the business world for very long. I can play the role for a while but a week is long enough. Making lists, finding new recipes and decorations for the holidays now that's where I'm comfortable. I'm about ready to hit the stores to try some new things for my favorite time of the year. Kerri, the boys, Mom and Dad and Mikey will join us for dinner tonight. My daughter is craving comfort food so meatloaf and mashed potatoes are on the menu for tonight's dinner. Pumpkin bread is already in the oven. Went to the orthopedic doctor and yes my elbow is broken. But the good news is it is healing fine on it's own. I was going to have to box with the doctor if he tried to put me in a cast right before the holidays!! I now walk down my stairs carrying my shoes. Pumpkin bread's done, better get movin'.

Well I'm home again. We had probably a record market. It went very fast but was very tiring. A lot of stress but it all worked out. The guys will be home today. I'm anxious to settle in to the holiday season. I went to see my boys as soon as I got in town. I will take today to rest up, maybe even tomorrow! Ha! Not much more to say. When you come back from market, it feels like a re-entry process. You are so cut off from the real world. It's good to be back.

A really good evening with my beautiful daughter. Dinner at one of our favorite places, Brio, A really cute new maternity outfit and a good movie. Family - one of God's greatest blessings. Mike and Mikey are already at market and I leave tomorrow. It's become a rather nice interruption, a change of pace so to speak. But don't let my husband know that. Kerri and I took the boys to the pumpkin patch last night. It is such a relaxing, family place. The wide-eyed squeal of Trey as he slid down the slide was priceless. Riley pumped his fist and said "awesome" after every time down. A straw maze, hayride and Trey giggling at the moon "up high" confirms that it's the simple things in life that bring the most joy. Sounds really corny but so true. Well, tomorrow begins a long week, I better hit the sack.

Go Bucks!! Yea, I know they lost. But everytime they lose I am reminded of the important things in life. The year my son almost lost his life, there was a letter in the paper about how it was such a crisis for the Bucks to lose. My husband immediately wrote a letter to the editor of that column and talked about real crisis. Let's see - important things in life; God's love, the love of family, peace with those around you, seeing the sunrise of a new day, children that make you laugh and the knowledge that "all things work together for good". Oh, and then there's chocolate!! It's a little cloudy out there this morning but somehow I just knew the sun would come up even though the Buckeyes lost. There's always next week.

I had so much fun with Trey today. He is such a special little boy. We played with Little People( I love watching him play, he is so intense), went to Target for some special treats, had snack at Barnes and Noble, played with Thomas and went to storytime. It's really fun when I get time with one of my boys at a time. You just can't find anything wrong with a day like today.

Well, summer is officially over. I made my normal stop at my favorite farm market for my peaches and was informed that this was the last they would have for the summer. Not a big deal to most but for me it is. See, I really like peaches. But only GOOD peaches and they are not easy to find. And everytime I eat a peach I think of my Papaw. I remember lots of days with my Papaw(the most wonderful person that every walked the earth!!) But one day I really remember is the day he put me in his truck and we drove to the roadside market. On the way home the peaches were in the back and finally it was more than we could stand. He pulled over on the side of the road, reached in back and handed me a peach. We sat there together eating our peaches but they weren't ordinary peaches. They were so big I had to use two hands and they were so juicy it rolled down my arms. That's the only way to eat a peach. Well, when I found out that this was the last of the peaches of course I had to buy a bunch. So this week, everytime I eat a peach I will have to eat one more for Papaw.

What a great few days Mike and I had!! We had the little ones since Thursday night. I am so tired but so fulfilled. They literally make my life wonderful. It was fun to watch Riley and Papa share the old classic cartoons like Tweetie Bird and Popeye. They both giggled like little kids. Trey is such a little brute but such a lover. The week-end included dinner with Jean and DocDoc, a trip to the store for lunch boxes and new shirts and a treat of M&M's. Shhhh, don't tell. Lunch with Mikey, the family room filled with toys and several trips around the block in the jeep. Thanks, Kerri and Eric for giving these two wonderful boys to our family and giving us so much time with them. The house sure is quiet.

Not much going on but I haven't blogged in a while. I have finally recovered from losing 4 days of our vacation. I know, I know I should be grateful and I am. Life has gotten back to normal. Tomorrow the little ones will arrive and I will have them all week-end. Fun times!! After that I will begin preparing for market. Yea!! Actually it isn't that bad and I think we are going to have a good one. It is time for business to pick up. I've been carrying around some STUFF lately and I'm not sure how to let it go. Actually I'm not sure I should, maybe it's to be carried by me right now. I just keep praying for strength. Sometimes I feel really tired emotionally. Oh well, enough whining. Think I'll go take a walk.

Home

Well we made it there and back. We had a wonderful vacation, just had to cut it short. I always love coming home but if we had just been able to finish the entire vacation the coming home would have been better. Yes, Ophelia had her way with us. We were forced out by a mandatory evacuation. We tried every way possible to stay. We considered going to Myrtle until they would let us back on the island but decided it wasn't worth the gamble. If we had all been there the first week it would have been easier but Mikey and Eric were only there three days and didn't get to experience the beautiful weather we had. But I am grateful for the time away and looking forward to jumping into Fall and all the things a new season brings.

Katrina

I'm praying today. May God keep us all in an attitude of prayer for the people living the nightmare brought on by this storm.

A Sunday the way Sunday's are meant to be. A house full of family, water gun fights, basketball, food, swinging on the front porch, a monopoly game, and beautiful paintings by two of the cutest little boys you'll ever see. Just kickin' back and relaxing. Thank you God for the beautiful gift of this day.

We went to the high school football game last night. First of all I can't believe it is time for football again. Then, I continue to see kids I had in pre-school; cheering, graduating, all the things they're not supposed to be old enough to do. Isn't there some way we can make time slow down?!! But I really don't feel that old and for that I am thankful. We had a good time. Saw lots of people I hadn't seen for awhile. Plus, Gahanna won. So begins fall. But our family is still in the summer frame of mind - we still have two weeks at the beach to enjoy.

Just a few days til we leave for the beach. I'm trying to start packing but not making much progress. I am so blessed to be close to my grandchildren. This morning Riley asked me if I would go to the park with him. Gee, let me think about it - YES!! It won't be that long til he won't be asking me to go to the park. So a quick trip to the park took up my morning. I was really sorry to hear that Palmer is back in the hospital. So hard to understand but still resting in the fact that God is in control. Praying for complete healing like my friend last week. Our speaker at church Sunday reminded us that healing is not for healing sake but for the glory of God. May God continue to make Himself known through Palmer's life.

I love the old songs of the church and I appreciate God bringing them to my memory from time to time.
Redeemed and so happy in Jesus no language my rapture can tell.
I know that the light of His presence with me doth continually dwell.

I know I shall see in His beauty, the King in whose law I delight.
Who lovingly guards every footstep and gives me a song in the night.

Redeemed, I'm redeemed.
Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb.
Redeemed, redeemed,
His child and forever I am

It's been a good week even with my husband gone. I'm glad he's coming home today though. I took Mom and Dad down to see the boys this morning. Riley wanted them to see his new bike. We had a good time. Dad doesn't complain quite as much about things as he used to. Ha! Guess he's learned it doesn't change anything. I spent Thursday night with Jen and Kerri and Trey after seeing the Wiggles. Dinner and a video. Then Mikey and Deanna let me hang out with them last night. I love my family. Life is good today. One day at a time I always say.

God has really been speaking to me about "practicing His presence". Seems as if I have gone through a time in my life that I haven't done that quite as naturally as I have in the past. A lot of how I have been feeling lately made sense when God tapped me on the shoulder and made me aware of this. He has also gone out of His way in the past 24 hrs. to show me that He is still at work in the lives of people. A long time friend of mine has had physical problems for the past 2 yrs. Long story short; she was in the operating room at the Mayo Clinic already under and ready and the doctor decided for some reason to do one more test to see what he was facing. The kidney blockage that she had arrived with was no longer there. They literally scratched their heads and sent her home. She feels great, no white cells in her blood or urine and there is no stint in her kidney. Go figure!!! I really love the Lord tonight. Just needed to say that. As Riley says, "Dod is dood, yes He is." Prayers go out for my family tonight, especially for Ginger. Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted. Joy comes in the morning. Hugs to all my family.

Another nice week-end. Some good friends were over Friday night and Kerri and the boys spent the night. I always love that. One evening we had an impromptu invitation to our neighbors. They had grilled too much food and we shared a meal with them on their porch. Sometimes things that aren't planned are the best. The exterior of our house has been brightened up with a fresh coat of paint. Vacation is getting closer and I will probably start piling things in the corner to begin packing. Trey has no idea what the beach is but everytime we mention it he claps and puts his hands up in the air. I think he sees the smiles on our faces and figures it must be something good. Mike will be leaving again Sunday for yet another market. I bought the coolest desk lamp with a little fan in it - hopefully it will take care of my hot flashes. I'm just rambling but what that means is life is fairly normal. Yes, normal even boring can be good. We were woken up at 1:30 a.m. by the phone ringing. Scared the #*!^ out of us. Too many of those over the years and you tend to find your stomach in your throat when it happens. Luckily it was a wrong number. Think I'll close now and see if there is anything interesting on e-bay.

We celebrated Riley's birthday tonight. I can't believe he's turning 4. We had such a good time. We played putt-putt and then came back to our house for pizza and birthday cake. He loved his Buzz Lightyear toys and the electric car was a big hit. It was cute watching him take his little brother for a ride. It was a pleasant distraction to have something so fun to do after saying good-bye to Eric, Chan and the kids. That wasn't fun. I'm such a weenie when it comes to good-byes. Our prayers go with them. We're having some friends over tomorrow night. I'm looking forward to it, it's been a while since we've seem some of them. Sure hope this hot weather breaks. Looking forward to a good week-end.

I can't believe it's Friday. I've had a good week overall. When Mike left Sunday I was afraid It would be long but I was able to relax, spend some good time with friends and family and get some projects at least started. He'll be home at midnight and Kerri and I will be at Picnic with the Pops earlier in the evening. It's also been another week that reminds me we really don't know what each day will bring. Uncertain times for family but lots of prayer will sustain us all. I really want to be there for all my family. I love them so much. Well, it's a a beautiful day, lots to be thankful for. Today I want to live expecting - expecting good things for those I love, expecting to see God's hand and expecting His faithfulness that has always been there for us.

Mike left yesterday for a week at the Vegas Furniture Market. I hate it when he is gone that long. Oh well.... you would think I would be o.k. with it after all these years. I had a really good day with Kerri, the boys and Jen yesterday. I even had dinner with Eric. I think I will take advantage of this week and finally work on my scrap book from our first family beach trip, almost a year ago. We will be heading that direction in just a few weeks so I thought it might be nice to have last year's book done. The boys should be bouncing off the walls when I see them next. They are going to a Maurice Sendak Exhibit of some of his books; Where the Wild Things Are and In the Night Kitchen. It includes costumes and role-playing. What a great time they will have. DON'T FORGET YOUR CAMERA KERRI!!!!

I Do Believe

So many questions, discussions, arguments, politics, religions. I have realized lately I am a VERY simple person. For me, it works. And yes, I find songs that say it for me because like I said, I'm simple and not very clever. So below is someone's words that speak to me, just thought I would share:

Some say faith is just believing
Others say it's self-deceiving
Inventing childish dreams to get us through
But deep inside me there's a yearning
For true wisdom not just learning
I'd trade all my clever questions for one answer that is true

Lord you know I need some answers
Questions eat at me like cancer
Make me once again a simple child
Help me take the risk of losing
Lose it all to find in choosing
To believe You are the answer earth and heaven reconciled

I do believe
You are the One
The home I've longed to find
My only hope
God's only Son
I do believe
I touch I see
That all along you've longed to be
My Lord my God.

We attended Eric's sister's wedding yesterday. What a breathtakingly beautiful bride!! Riley was so grown up and did a wonderful job with his "job". He escorted his little 2yr. old bride down the aisle and looked so handsome doing it. Then there was Trey in his "shorts" that hit him about mid-calf because his legs are so short. By the time he arrived at the reception his shoes had been disposed of and he was flirting with all the bridesmaids and dancing on the dance floor before the music actually began. He is definitely a ladies man. I realized that between the Stetler's and the Pressley's there is only one more to marry off - Pup. I'm not sure that will happen before Riley gets married!!
My husband is really tired from a lot of traveling. So right now he is spending Sunday in his chair eating eggs, bacon and sliced tomatoes and watching the British Open.

Well I've learned lately that we must be flexible. We had to postpone Mom's b-day dinner because Riley was sick. We were a little concerned because of his symptoms but fortunately he has just picked up a virus. The little guy was having some serious headaches and we were glad to hear that it wasn't anything worse. We will shoot for dinner next Monday night. We really want to have everybody there if possible since it's such a milestone for Mom. Hopefully we will be able to pull it off.

Another good day. A good worship service, we found a really good chinese restaurant, some office work(lots of Value City orders - a very good thing) made dinner for Mikey and his girlfriend, we went putt-putting and wrapped up the evening at the Dairy Queen. (Not a healthy choice as Riley would say!!) Think I'll go to bed I've got a busy day getting ready for Mom's B-day party. Another week already. The summer is going entirely too fast!!

A really good day. I spent the morning with Kerri, Jen, Riley, Trey and Micah. A visit from the mouse who stars in "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie". Pizza for lunch. Home where I helped my husband with some office work, made some dinner, listened to some good gospel music, took a walk, all in all a good day. I'm looking forward to the sabbath. I'm planning an 80th birthday dinner for my mom Monday. Simple pleasures, they're definitely the best. Good-night

I love these words:

I then shall live as one who's been forgiven
I'll walk with joy to know my debts are paid
I know my name is clear before my Father
I am His child, and I am not afraid
So greatly pardoned, I'll forgive my brother
The law of love I gladly will obey

I then shall live as one wh0's learned compassion
I've been so loved that I'll risk loving, too
I know how fear builds walls instead of bridges
I dare to see another's point of view
And when relationships demand commitment
Then I'll be there to care and follow through

Your kingdom come around and through and in me
Your pow'r and glory, let them shine through me
Your Hallowed Name, O may I bear with honor
And may Your living Kingdom come in me
The Bread of Life, O may I share with honor
And may You feed a hungry world through me
Amen

I still believe in your faithfulness
I still believe in your truth
I still believe in your holy word
even when I don't see, I still believe

I haven't been feeling well the past week. Not sure what is wrong just not feeling 100%. I can't believe June is almost over. Seems like I say that every summer some things just don't change like how fast time flies. Today is my husbands birthday. He is such a fantastic guy. I am truly blessed to be able to share my life with him. Spaghetti dinner and cheesecake tomorrow night, two of his favorites. Steaks on the grill tonight with just the two of us. Happy Birthday Mike!!! He is counting the days for Red White and Boom. He just LOVES it!! Ha!! But he'll be there with bells on that's just the kind of guy he is. Of course the price we pay is listening to him complain the entire evening. Actually that started about May. He's such a twit!! Come by and visit us. We will be in our normal place right by the City Center in the grassy valley. It's a great spot. Well enough rambling. Have a great 4th.

Today was our wedding anniversary. I am married to the best guy in the world even though he did plan a golf trip during our anniversary. That's o.k., he sent me a dozen roses and he's still the best guy in the world. He'll be home late tomorrow night. I'm glad. I miss him. I always miss him when he is gone. Not bad for 31 years - to be able to say I still miss him. I'm really blessed.

Mike and Mikey left before dawn for their long-awaited golf trip celebration. This is a special trip to celebrate. Some people might wonder what we have to celebrate. I've learned to celebrate each day. The past has taught us so much and we are different people today due to choices that have been made but primarily due to God's faithfulness. I told Mikey yesterday how proud I am of him. He has paid and is still paying for his choices but he has allowed these experiences to make him a better person. I hope these next few days are full of memories they will never forget. They are playing my favorite golf course even as I am writing this and I'm sure Mike and Gerald have figured out a way to get some strokes from Mikey and Jeff. Then they will head to Pinehurst. I'm sure good times will be had by all. I imagine Mike is having a great Father's Day - playing Old Beau with his son. Who could ask for anything more!!

Just a couple verses I am mulling over in my mind and heart today. Thought I would pass them on.

"Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not laking anything." ( James 1:2-4 NIV)

"God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you'll have it all - life healed and whole. I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggrvation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold that God will have on display as evidence of His victory." 1Peter 1:5-7 The Message)

We have found ourselves in some crazy situations lately that we have laughed about after the fact. But actually if God hadn't intervened things wouldn't have been so funny. Of course I already eluded to the flying swimming pool. That could've been really ugly. But I think my husband topped that today in PA. He was chased down by a crazy lady in a truck through a field by the side of the road. Yea, it's true I'm not making that up. Actually I don't think we are aware of all of the times God intervenes to keep us safe. Just spending a quiet night alone thinking and praying about all the people that need answers to prayer. I have a pretty long list at the moment and it will be good to look back and see how God worked. Always good to see Douglas Wharton. I dropped some things off at Kerri's and surprise, surprise look who was there looking so handsome with his summer shave!!Ha!! Everyone have a good evening.

It seems that everyday lately brings questions. Questions that have no answers or at least not ones that satisfy us completely. Questions that motivate me to pray. But then I have a lot of questions about prayer right now. Because of all these questions with no answers I finally get to the end and realize the best thing I can do is let God handle things. Sounds simple ,huh? No but I truly believe it is where we need to live. Trusting in an unfailing Father that sees things through different eyes and knows exactly what He is doing. One thing I do know today; I LOVE HIM. With all my heart, I love Him. I thank Him for this day with all it's questions. I want to honor Him.

Today is Mikey's 23rd birthday. He is alive and well and for that I am truly grateful. He has lived more life experiences in his 23 years than I have in mine (I'm not telling how many) He is teaching all of us how to live one day at a time. I am convinced this is how God wants all of us to live. My grandparents used to always say,"The good Lord willing". I don't think that is in my vocabulary enough. I am trying very hard to commit everyday to God and just let Him take care of things. Not always easy but when I do it really works. Some random wisdom from someone with experience: Don't put a kids swimming pool in the back of a truck, weigh it down with bags of sand and drive on 270. Just trust me, it doesn't work. I'm looking forward to a great week-end. Kerri and the kids will spend the night since Eric is in Mt.Vernon for Blast. Dinner tomorrow night for Mikey's birthday . A good week-end, the good Lord willing.

I've always been a very emotional person. The last few years my emotions have been on steroids. I can cry at the drop of a hat. So I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised when I completely broke down in the middle of the Kroger store after passing a little old man that really had no business being there by himself. I'm watching my parents age every day. I left my mother's house yesterday crying as she sat on the front porch by herself with just her plants around her. My Dad hadn't even realize we had left the family room . I was planning a big party for my Mom's 80th birthday in July and she doesn't want one. But don't worry, our family will still have a party. I just thought she would like to have her friends help celebrate. I really don't like the thought that I am getting older. I want so badly to stay young at heart considering that we don't have any choice about our bodies getting old. Time passes so quickly, why does it have to be that way? I guess if I have no choice in the matter one thought does help; I love who I am growing older with. I wouldn't change that at all. So this month we will celebrate another birthday for my son, my husband and our 31st wedding anniversary. Time just marches on and the best we can do is enjoy, enjoy every day . Have a good day everybody!

I LOVE MY GRANDCHILDREN!!!! Kerri and Eric went to Cedar Point yesterday and I had the kids ALL DAY . They are awesome kids. We took a walk to the pretend pizza store, played at Nana's house, fed the ducks at the creekwalk, had dinner at Bob Evans, went to the park and fell into bed. I love them so much it sometimes hurts. I would love to shield them from everything that could harm them in this world but unfortunately that's not possible. So - I pray for them, I pray hard and trust that they will be happy and healthy. And I thank God everyday for these wonderful blessings He has given to our family. Lord keep them safe, keep them happy - just keep them.

A very eventful day. We had a little "open house" for Mikey today. An opportunity to thank those that have been there for us. What a good time. Good people, good friends. We are blessed. My friend Doug stopped by sorry he had missed the party. He is really struggling with his own very serious situation. I can't seem to find any words to make it better. Extended family going through tough stuff. God reminded me today at church that He is in control. I just have to keep believing that. Sometime that's all we have. He wants it to be enough.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was saatisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt of life, no fear of death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

I heard a really good sermon today about hardship. He said that the problem with Christians in the U.S. is that we have this mistaken idea that life is supposed to be easy. That it's not normal to have hard times. I am reminded of an old song:

I thank God for the mountains and I thank Him for the valleys
I thank Him for the storms He's brought me through.
For if I never had a problem, I wouldn't know that He could solve them ,
I wouldn't know what faith in His word could do.

My son said the other day that he wouldn't trade anything he's been through for an easier way. I'm glad he feels that way because he has learned that the good and the bad go together to make us into what God wants us to be. In order to learn everything we can about God we need both, so we can see how He is able to work through it all.

So much STUFF going on right now. It seemed to overwhelm me some this week-end but I'm dealing much better. Things I'm learning at Al-Anon can help in all areas and relationships of my life. I think I'm going to look around for a little better fit in another group but I realized tonight that what I have experienced and still am going through I want to be able to use to help others as often as possible. I met a couple tonight that were so full of pain for their son that it seemed to be smeared all over them. My heart went out to them. They had just registered their son in a 28 day program. He is a drug user. They live 3 hrs from here and were on their way home. I could make a list of all the different emotions they had to be feeling. I felt as if I was reliving them all. The best thing I could tell them was to go home, take care of themselves and pray for their son. It isn't always easy but it works. Mikey talked to me today about what he is learning from "Purpose Driven Life". Trust me, that's a big deal!! God is doing a good thing.

My Wonderful Family

Well I watched the last episode of Raymond tonight. Once again it made me laugh and I needed that. But more than that it gave me a little reminder - don't ever take the people you love for granted. Tonight I prayed for my family. I love them and I never want to take them for granted. So for any of my family that reads this post - I love you, I really, really do. And tonight you were prayed for.

The last few days I have enjoyed having my sister visiting. I wish so much she lived nearby but I guess that isn't to be. We really had a nice time. Our trip to Lancaster to see Mikey gave us some time to really talk like we haven't for a long time. I am so glad they were able to see each other. She is leaving today and I will begin getting ready for Pup's return home. I will pick him up bright and early Wednesday morning. So we begin another week full of hope and good days ahead. One day at a time. Lord help me live that way.

Great News

We received some great news today. Mikey will be released from re-hab May 11th, one week from today. YEA!!!!!!!!! It's been a long road and we are coming to the end of this part of the journey. We'll all keep praying and supporting him. I can't wait to talk to him tonight, I'm sure he is excited. He wanted this so badly. Another 30 days would have been tough. Oh well, we don't have to face that. I'm looking forward to my al-anon meeting tonight. Think I'll seek out a sponsor.

I'm borrowing some words again today:

Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?
Who told the ocean you can only come this far?
Who showed the moon where to hide til evening?
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?

The very same God that spins things in orbit,
He runs to the weary, the worn and the weak.
And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken,
They conquered death to bring me victory.

Well, I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives.
All of creation testify this life within me cries,
I know my Redeemer lives.

He lives, to take away my shame.
And He lives, forever I'll proclaim that the payment for my sin
Was the precious life He gave
But now He's alive and there's an empty grave.
And I know my Redeemer lives.
Let all creation testify this life within me cries,
I know my Redeemer lives.

I realized this morning I haven't blogged for a week. I'm quite sure everybody is on the edge of their seats waiting for my next post!! HA! We've been playing the waiting game again. There is a paperwork problem (go figure!) and we are trying to figure out when Mikey will get out. It could be as early as May 8th or as long as another 30 days after that. Needless to say he has been crawling out of his skin. We still don't know but we should find out Wednesday. I am really hoping for the best for him but I have to admit, some fear is creeping in, no I would better describe it as some fear is stomping in. I found myself at an al-anon meeting last week and I will definitely be going back. I allowed God to take care of him when he left, I had no other choice. I have to continue doing that when he gets out. It's funny, we are both in the same boat. He has made GREAT progress but he has been in a situation that made it easy to make good choices. We both will be facing our own enemies when this situation changes; he, the temptation of his former lifestyle and me, the temptation to coddle and control. One day at a time, I guess that continues to be our motto. I'm looking forward to worshiping this morning and then after a few hours of work, I will head for the Stetler's for some smores with the family. Have a blessed day.

Beautiful Chaos and Disarray

The hair dryer is in the middle of my bedroom floor, a toy school bus is hiding behind the couch. Every bed is unmade and the laundry has piled up. I'm not sure what the crumbs are on the couch and the bird and cat have a strange, glazed over look on their faces. Yes, the grandkids were here all week-end and it was wonderful. The house may never be the same but the important part is, neither will I. I am not the same woman I was before these beautiful, giggling little people came into my life and stole my heart away. ( By the way, which one of you stole one of my tennis shoes, I still can't find it!!) Because of them I can have a beautiful week-end even if "the weather is confused" as Riley puts it. Thank God for your blessings tonight, I know I am.

Tanner Bryant

Tanner Bryant briefly touched our family's life but will always and forever be a part of us. God bless you little guy, we love you.

This evening I am trying to hear His voice among all the sadness.

In you, O Lord I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
Rescue me and deliver me in your
righteousness;
turn your ear to me and save me.
Be my rock of refuge,
to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my
fortress.
For you have been my hope,
O Sovereign Lord,
my confidence since my youth.
From birth I have relied on you;
you brought me forth from my
mother's womb.
I will ever praise you.
Psalm 71

I have been reading about clefts. It is an indentation in a rock and inside the cleft the rock is its original pink color, unspoiled and protected from the storm and heat. That's where I want to stay. Fanny Crosby said it best:

A wonderful Savior is Jesus My Lord,
A wonderful Savior to me:
He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock,
Where rivers of pleasure I see.

He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock
That shadows a dry, thirsty land;
He hideth my life in the depths of His love,
And covers me there with His hand.
And covers me there with His hand.

Lord please hide my family in the cleft of the rock tonight. Thank you that You have even the littlest ones in your hand.

I just had a really sad conversation with a neighbor. She was talking about how she doesn't like her daughter's boyfriend and she really would be just as happy if she never marries. She said she hopes she just lives with somebody and has children with him. When I asked her why, she said she doesn't know one happily married couple, not one. She said she hasn't been happy from the beginning and may leave him soon. I'm sure I could probably have this same conversation with many people. I just think it is so sad. I am so glad I am not in that situation. I told her that I honestly don't know what I would do without my husband and she looked at me and said she has no idea how that feels. Mike, I love you and I am so happy you are my husband and my very best friend.

Home Again

Well I made it back and survived another market. It went very well, some funny things to keep us sane. I think we pulled off keeping all the lines happy and the customers liked what they saw. I am really tired, probably more than ever. I chose not to take all my ingredients for my breakfast drink and that was a major mistake. Never again. It was really good to see both my kids yesterday. I am so proud of my children. No mother has been blessed with any better. Kerri is gone to Cincinnati with some friends and Eric has the boys visiting his parents. Looking forwawrd to seeing them tomorrow. I am trying to re-enter the real world and that partly involves resigning from my little job at Macy's. It is so cool to see how God prepares you for choices and changes He wants you to make or you just need to make. I know this is the next step I should make, I've just been waiting to know for sure. There is a mix up with Mikey's release date and our attorney is going to be working on that this week. It was so different to hear Mikey say that he was praying he could accept whatever the outcome is. The difference is an entire 30 days. That's big when you are where he is. it is wonderful to hear him talk about God's control in his life. He's come a long way!! Well, I'm going to try to get rested up and ready for a full week.

I just talked to my friend Maxine. Her son is out waiting his trial on May 24th. He is in Akron with his older brother that really seems to have his life together. My prayer is that Garland will gain some wisdom from his brother and no matter what happens in his trial he will determine to get his life straightened out and walk the journery in front of him with God. If Maxine and Garland comes to mind, breathe a little prayer.

Well, I'm packing again. I leave tomorrow evening for beautiful downtown Highpoint N.C. A very tiring week but one in which I get to see my husband in his working environment. I don't think I have ever been to a market that someone hasn't spoken of my husband's integrity. I know we shouldn't be prideful but nevertheless I am very proud of him in a world where that kind of integrity is not often seen.
I am finding myself telling God how much I am in love with him tonight. So many reasons. My grandkids were so full of life today and Ginger is feeling movement and life from the little one she is carrying. I pray that God will continue to breathe life into that womb. Life is all around us and He is right here among us touching our lives in so many ways. For some people in my life, things aren't so hopeful. Touch them tonight God, and may every doubt that you love them be destroyed as Your Spirit breathes new life into them.

A Miracle

We are praying for a miracle. My younger nephew and his wife have been struggling with having a baby. They miscarried and now the prognosis is that another little one will die within the next few weeks. We are praying for a miracle. I know God has the grace to see them through this but I also know He has the power to heal. I pray that God will be very near, that they will sense Him as they never have before.

Good to be Home

We made it back from sunny Florida. We had a great time - ate too much (gained weight), played lots of golf (learned how to hit my 7 wood, almost) swam a little, got a little tan and had a great trip with some wonderful friends. I couldn't wait to see my boys , that was the first thing on our "to do" list. It's really good to be home but unfortunately I will be leaving Sunday for the furniture market. Not as much fun but a necessity. Thanks to Chan for feeding the animals. Tyson hates it when we are gone.
On a more serious note I have to say I was moved by the passing of the Pope. He must have been a wonderful man of God who really lived what he preached. Heaven is far richer with him there.
I'm really tired so think I'll get some rest.